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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Do you tell?

35 replies

str8tothepoint · 23/10/2013 15:34

No I'm not looking for a boost in confidence or nothing at all so don't fire me down. If your DP was having an affair with the same sex, had unprotected sex, knows he's gay in the closet too scared, still carried on behind her back for 9 months after she found out originally about us would you tell her??

I am not looking for arguments or boosts just opinions

OP posts:
aturtlenamedmack · 25/10/2013 15:43

I would just remove yourself from this situation entirely.
Do not contact him, erase him and all his details from your life entirely and do not be tempted to get back in touch.
It is unlikely that he got the sti that he has given you from his wife, indicating that it isn't just you that he is messing about with.
Don't yell her, don't speak to him, remove yourself from the situation entirely.
Get your sti treated and move on with your life. You don't need a man like that in it. His behaviour is horrible and up to now you have been facilitating it.
Find someone who will treat you well.

ImperialFucker · 25/10/2013 16:20

I can't understand any of this.

Original poster
str8tothepoint · 25/10/2013 16:26

I don't need him he always says that when he wants a reaction from me as if 'oh God better reply or he'll never talk to me again' and he has always said he needs me more than I need him which is very true. Maybe it's just me being head fucked by what's happened and him thinking he can just get away with being a liar and cheater

OP posts:
feelinlucky · 25/10/2013 16:37

This is very familiar. There was something very similar to this not too long ago.

Original poster
str8tothepoint · 25/10/2013 16:40

I did post in may time but had it taken down just incase she was on here now I don't care she can find out. Thing is she was pretending to be him on his old account so I registered gay newsletters to that address, surely she must know he's gay. I'm just being stupid but have protected him for far far too long

OP posts:
ScooseIsLoose · 25/10/2013 17:04

Why don't you just cease contact with him don't reply to his texts emails etc.

ScooseIsLoose · 25/10/2013 17:09

If you tell her he will probably weasel his way out of it and say you are just bitter and jealous it sounds like you would both be better off without him.

Mabelface · 25/10/2013 17:36

Message him about the STI then run like the wind.

Original poster
str8tothepoint · 25/10/2013 18:48

I'm far from bitter or jealous plus I have all the proof to prove that he weasled his way back to me. he's a very scared gay man

OP posts:
Offred · 25/10/2013 20:16

You need to tell her about the sti. Nothing else and no drama. If you tell him he may not tell her. She really needs to be tested.

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