Made a mess of things

[totallyconfused]

Sorry if this is long...

17 months ago I met a bloke on the internet, within 2 months we had met and were in a relationship. It was long distance so only managed to get to see each other every other weekend when he would come and stay with us. Over time I started to go off him, he was very greedy with food (would go to McDonalds and eat 3 double bacon cheese burgers alongside a giant portion of chips and XXL coke etc) and it became apparant that he had lots of money trouble, he was in loads and loads of debt yet made no attempt to pay it off, infact when he got paid he would waste it all on xbox games etc and then borrow off his mum until he next got paid. He also still lived with his mum meaning he expected me to do everything for him like his mum does. Apart from this he had no common interests to me, didnt want to travel and lived in a dream world...he thought everything was so easy and that he didnt need to work at anything.

Thing is, I stayed with him as I was scared of being totally on my own and rather selfishly I didnt want to go back to having no social life and never going for a night out.

His behaviour got worse however and about a week ago I told him I was sick of it and wanted to end it. He was very upset and kept asking me to give him another chance...stupidly I felt guilty and caved, even though I knew I wouldnt be happy I gave in and said we could try again. I was getting grief off my family to finish with him after this, they all said he was no good for me, he was using me and that I could do better so a few days ago I finished with him again.

Then I decided that, out of curiosity I would join a dating site, just to see if I could attract the kind of man I want...I wasnt intending anything to happen from it.

Last night however my DP phoned and started telling me how he is going to sort his debts and he really wants to to try again...after he laid a bit of pressure on I said we should just look at it as us being on a 'break' and that he didnt need to worry about me finding anyone else.

BUT, I did get talking to someone through this dating site and now I feel really guilty, I feel like I'm cheating on my partner and I also feel like I'm leading the other bloke on.

I don't know what to do, do I try again with partner who is terrible with money and has hardly anything in common with me or finish it completely and give it a go with this other bloke?

correct me if I'm wrong but I think you already know the answer to your question.
It seems you know that he's not making you happy and someone saying that they'll change is one thing, actually doing it is something else.

Personally, and remember that this is just my personal viewpoint, I think you may need a fresh start

From your post it does sound as if you know what you should do but can't quite bring yourself to be honest with him.

No offence intended but have we been here before ? It's just the background sounds familiar with his money woes, apron strings, slack attitude and perhaps disrespect of you, your home and your kids.

hhmmm this sounds familiar... imo this guy is not going to change. it's not like just one thing is wrong that he could work on, it's everything! i think you should cut your losses and start meeting other people. don't worry about the internet date, but you must finish with this guy before you proceed. it's not fair on the net guy if you're still carrying baggage.

being alone is not such a bad thing. i think it's essential for finding out about yourself and what you want from life.

good luck!