How often do you have sex with your partner?

[Ilikeyoursleeves]

Just wondering what is 'average' if that exists? My DH went on a bit of a rant last night through his frustrations that we don't have enough sex. We do it about once a week, if even, sometimes it might just be two or three times a month. We have three kids and the baby is only just settling at night now so that's been a big factor for me but I don't think my libido is as high as his. It's not like he wants it every night but he said he thinks within a marriage it's not unreasonable to have sex 2-3 times a week. He's mentioned this before and has always accepted I'm knackered but last night he started to get quite angry about it and said he feels like a pervert when he makes advances to me and I turn him down. I can see his point so I said I will make more of an effort but he thinks sex shouldn't have to be an effort. But I also don't want to feel I have to do it now when I don't want to!

Any advice or help?! Thanks.

The fact that my kids are almost adults and it's a modern house with studded walls makes things very awkward. My wife has put a rolled up pair of socks between the headboard and the wall but the bed really creaks. Sometimes when they both stay at my Mums we can really go for it (the old woman who lives next door is deaf) and it's really good. The only other way we can do it is by spooning and me wriggling like a worm but it hardly seems worth it.

Darkest - Obviously I wasn't there so can't really disagree with your intepretation of the bloke friends comments. However I have seen similar stuff trotted out on MN to those who complain about a low sex drive from their partner.

Having said that you crossings-out do seem to be the more normal view, unfortunately.

Every couple of days for sure, sometimes more. Can't keep my hands off her really. I like to dress her up, and have her walk round the house in short skirts, slutty underwear, blouses. 4 kids, fifth on the way. Must be doing something right. She smiles a lot.

Surely it's always worth it 77?
Red, you made me laugh! Good for you if she's always smiling!
Usually around 4/5 times a week for us. Does depend on the week. Both have high sex drive (dh's higher probs) but it works

Neil- new bed may be a worthwhile investment!

That bed cost us £800 less than 2 years ago. It shouldn't be creaking like it does. Buying a new one isn't going to happen.

Averages are definitely just that- think it varies a lot and agree with what others have said re affects of kids/stress/general weariness!

There is no average, I used to pressure my wife by nagging her about it, It was always “We will tomorrow, Won’t we? “
Tomorrow never come, Before I knew it over a year had gone with no sex, When we did, we was both scared, that was back in June last year, I haven’t asked since and nothing has happened from her end either, I just don’t know what to do

Between 4 and 8 times a week on average. Usually once a day and more on days off. Some days both tired so just go to bed and cuddle. We don’t have any young children with us to worry about!

Although I agree being nagged is a passion killer, I also think always being rejected is a passion killer too

does he pull his weight around the house OP? If so and I was your husband I would also be annoyed with the lack of sex.

If however he’s lazy then tell him perhaps if he did more to help you’d have more energy for sex

DP and I don’t live together but we have sex whenever we see each other which is usually 4/5 times a week. Sometimes twice in one day too. But then we have high sex drives

2-3 times a month when I’m not pregnant. We’re in our 30s. It used to be once a week or more pre-kids and busy careers. I’m pregnant now and we don’t do it at all when I’m pregnant (fairly mutual choice, I always have a lot of bleeding and it’s just stressful and unpleasant for everyone). It would be nice if it was once a week but we’re tired and busy so that’s fine.

Wow, zombie thread, interesting to read what I posted years ago.

We don't live together, so it's not every day. But pretty much every time we're together we end up DTD, so.... three/four times a week, normally. We're both in our early 20s and have been together for a year. The longest we went without (not including the month or so of dating before we DTD for the first time) was three weeks, but that was because I'd just had major surgery so certainly wasn't feeling up to much!