I think I'm losing my best friend

[AmericasTorturedBrow]

Things have felt strained for a while. She's not responded recently to chatty FB messages or texts.

Just sent her a long email saying I think she's annoyed/frustrated at me, apologizing for some things I know we're out of order (which I've apologized for already) and it ended up a bit of a heart and soul email. Basically I've Realised some home truths about myself that I don't like. But I've tried to take responsibility for this. Basically asked her what I can do to rectify this and save our friendship.

She responded immediately saying she couldn't respond now but would tomorrow.

My heart is breaking, can I have a hand to hold?

IME some friendships come and go, others are more permanent. Not responding to messages/texts is hardly the end of the world. When you're at the stage of sending long emotional e-mails to anyone other than a lover or life partner, I think you're clutching at straws. You could always tell her you were pissed, I suppose.

I guess it's just weird behavior from her; email was needed as to be honest I do feel utterly in turmoil. She's been one of the closest people in my life for over half my life, she's DC1 godmother

I think we've both changed over the last year or so but I don't want to lose. I've said a few things which weren't great and (in my mind) can be a bit annoying sometimes but I haven't done anything awful, as far as I'm aware, have always been there for her and supported her

I'm generally quite needy and paranoid though, although usually keep this hidden very well. I'm just sad because I think maybe compared to some of the more glamorous (and child free) friends she has, I've become boring and old news in comparison

Stop apologising! Unless you've one something completely terrible and awful just STOP. All it will do is make you look desperate.

Step back now. What will be, will be.

She responded immediately saying she couldn't respond now but would tomorrow.

Well at least you know she's not blanking you, which must be some level of relief, surely?

Yup, good words of advice. And I agree, all the apologizing probably makes me look even worse. I suppose though I hoped to open up the conversation - to be honest we could probably both do with hearing some home truths, but if you can't trust your best friend to tell it like it is, who can?

I haven't responded to her, I'll wait until she's ready.

I know I probably sound like a teenager but she is so very important to me. And I've never "lost" a friend before

I think you're laying it on far too thick for someone you describe as a best friend. Who wants to hear home truths? And where is it written that you have to 'tell it like it is'? You're friends, not a married couple, and I'm sorry but I'm starting to understand why she might be trying to keep you at arms length...