I think I've lost my libido, will I ever get it back..?

[Scarletohello]

I ended a year and a half relationship in January. I dearly loved the man but he proved himself to be a weak, lying, selfish and unfaithful man so u ended it because I knew I had to.

However , I had the best sex I had ever had with this guy and since then I feel like I have pretty much lost my libido. For the first two months after I ended it I just didn't think about sec at all and then when I did start having sex again I just compared my lovers with him and none of them were anywhere near as good. Not only that, sex just reminded me of him and just made me feel sad. Feel like I will never get over him and will never be able to really enjoy sex again. I know it takes time to get over someone but its been ten months now...

What to do..?

Blimey... you didn't wait long to get back in the saddle! Have you thought about just being you for a while? Have a bit of time out from the whole dating/shagging lark and recover your self-confidence?

I thought I had taken quite a bit of time out already. My problem is that I've always really enjoyed sex and had a high libido but it just seems to have faded away. Maybe I just do need more time? Am just worried I won't get it back...

Is there any possibility that you're using sex with these other lovers to try to reassert yourself as a woman following the rejection? It's pretty visceral stuff to be cheated on and lied to but there are better ways to get your confidence back than sleeping with people... which can just end up feeling rather empty.

Yeah I was going to write, I'm trying to fuck him out of my system, but I deleted it as thought it was a bit too graphic. It's just I've never felt like this before( am a bit if a swinger and been going to fetish clubs for years so have had a lot if sex and usually really enjoy it), and used to regularly masturbate, but rarely do now as I still think about ex when I do.

< that's probably TMI, oh well, it's an anonymous site..! >

Then there's your answer. Sex in isolation is a bit like junk food vs a nutritious meal. A temporary solution but doesn't feed the soul. If you were exclusive (big assumption) with this person for 18 months and it involved love, going back to the cheap stuff is always going to leave you disappointed. Maybe you need to have a rethink and raise your game?