Been with my partner 9 years. Not married, but we have two children together. 3 year old girl and a 3 month old boy.
Just before my daughter was born my partners father had just died and my partner started acting very odd. At first I put this down to his father's death but something about his behaviour made me want to dig deeper.
Two weeks after I gave birth, I went through his phone and I found out he was having an emotional affair with a girl at work. They were talking to each other very inappropriately and had even kissed.... I know for a fact they did not sleep together. Anyway... I confronted him and he admitted to being stupid...not thinking straight and ended it all. He promised never to speak to her again and I hoped we had moved on from the situation.
3 years on and I have just had my little boy.... interestingly enough the same behaviour patterns have started so I decided to have a look at his phone. Literally that week he had gone out to lunch with her.... I confronted him about this and he explained that they do work together and he took her to lunch to try to clear the air and stop things being awkward between them as they hadn't spoken for so long. I asked him why he had not told me and he said he didn't want it to upset me....hmmmmm... I told him that he was not to do this again and that if he did he must tell me so we can keep our level of trust.
2 weeks later, I decided to check his phone again... no messages between them. So I then checked his logs and you can see that he had still been texting her but obviously deleting them.
I took the kids to my mothers, came home and went absolutely ballistic.
He seems to think the company receptionist (who I have a nice relationship with) is feeding me information when he goes off with this girl. She isn't... I haven't spoken to the women for a few months. Idiot hasnt realised I have worked his mobile phone password out. However, I let him believe this. He thens tell me "I Know she told you we went for coffee on Wednesday" Apparently because redundancies are imminent and she is worried she will lose her job.
As you can imagine my jaw hit the floor. He has continued to talk to her even though I have asked him not too.
I cannot find ANY resolution in my mind. Am I overeacting? He went off to work today and I just felt sick watching him walk into the train station. I want him to do something but I dont know what. He has told me he will handle the situation but he told me that two weeks ago and yet he goes to coffee with her.
He also told me two years ago the company receptionist had taken him to one side and asked him if something was going on between him and this woman....how embarassing. If the reception had worked it our surely so had his other work people. I am so raging mad. Please help...