Working part-time

[Drhamsterstortoise]

Hi there.Just wanted some opinions on this please.Taking a few months unpaid leave after maternity.Dp not happy about this but I decide to do it anyway as he works away and I could afford to support myself and the dcs for this period provided I use the child benefit.I would also like to job share in the future again for a year or two while the dcs are young.I could keep two thirds of my salary.I think this will never be an option for me as he thinks I should be out working and earning as much money as we can.I just feel that I will always regret not doing it

So are you saying your relationship struggles with conflict resolution? I'm sure what you're planning works fine for a lot of people but they're not the ones you have to convince. Does he tell you what to do a lot?

I think so.we went to see a counsellor a few weeks ago which I found helpful.I have made an appointment to see her again .I feel everything is on his terms

What do you mean when you say "I could support myself and the DC for this period provided I use the child benefit"?

What happens to his earnings? Or are you just saying what he contributes won't be enough to cover the household expenditure?

Might you be eligible for tax credits during the period when you are not working?

He doesn't contribute during the week as he is not here.Im using my savings and child benefit to do this .He thinks its selfish of me to choose this option.

We pay equally for childcare for the eldest, oil,mortgage and a cleaner

I think it should be your choice. You're not going part time because you're lazy, you're going part time to be with your children and give them a solid foundation by spending more time with you.

As long as you can still bring in enough money to contribute to mortgage etc then I can't see he can moan. You'd save money on childcare anyway.

You'll never regret being at home with them, you might regret not being at home with them

Ps- not sure why you're covering all the costs? Do you have joint money?

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Would you still be able to meet half the costs for the things you listed??

Sounds very unfair. His attitude to the family finances sounds very unhealthy. You seem to operate as separate units rather than a team? This is what you need to address. It is not just a practical issue.

As for going back to work- you are very lucky if it is possible to go part time. Many women either have to back ft or not at all.

I worked part-time for 11 years. It was a joint choice. I worked 0.6 which meant quite a pay cut, but you save money on childcare.

Is he earning more than you and so feels like he has more say? Not that that is right at all - if you are a partnership, it should be equal say regardless of who earns what.

Could you reach an agreement that if you work part-time now, you will review the situation in x years time and maybe you will then go back to work full-time?

But he is your husband/life partner! Not a guest, he doesn't get to just contribute for the time he is there.

My ex and I could never agree on this either. He wanted me out earning the money and when I extended my maternity leave to a year against his wishes he said he could never trust me again. You do what is right for you and your children. Stick to your guns or you will regret it. I still regret not taking a career break for a few years. There is more to life than work and money.

Thank you all for your advice.If I went part time it would be for a year or two.I love my job and all that goes with it.I just find it a struggle on my own during the week and don't want work or home to suffer because of tiredness.I may not even do it.I'm just sad that he feels so resentful of this.Yes I am very lucky to be able to go back.It was always on my mind as a teenager to choose a profession where I could try and achieve some sort of happy medium.Both my parents worked full time, the house was always a mess,their relationship ended.There was plenty of money but no balance and alot of stress and tension.