So, DP and I had a huge row last night and now I'm left feeling confused and unsure of what I want. We have been together for a number of years, during which he's given me plenty of reasons not to trust him. He has had some financial difficulty lately so my sole income has kept us going since the beginning of this year. He's finally back on his feet again and has managed to contribute to the household income once, although he has spent my money liberally as and when he's felt like it.
Last night we had a row, it's always about the same thing. He goes out and comes home hours later than expected. It happens every Sunday. Sometimes he comes home drunk, but mostly I'm left feeling tense unsure whether he's had a drink or not. He's had a drink problem in the not too distant past which is why I feel tense about him drinking.
So, last night he said he's sick of me being on his back all the time (about housework - he used to do NONE and money) and that he wanted to stay at his mum's to give him some thinking time. Given what's happened in the past, I think it's unreasonable of him to expect me to trust him to sleep elsewhere for a night, and he'd go mental if I did it. Not only that, he said since I have all of his money, I should hand over a considerable sum, there and then, since he's paying into the house now (he's contributed once) so half my money is his. My argument is that I've been barely keeping us afloat so now his income is helping us straighten out, and I don't have a lump sum to give him (for food, etc) if he doesn't fancy coming home. He got more and more insistent and asked what I'd do if he just took the money out of my purse. What kind of response did he expect? He knew he was bullying me and if he decided to take money from my purse I couldn't physically stop him. I mentioned the police and he sneered at me and said he can prove that his wages have been paid into our bank account, therefore half of the money is his.
He took some money and left. I haven't seen him since, although he has sent me a text saying sorry, but insisting that I am in the wrong. I don't know what to do. My head says cut him out of my life and get on without him. My life is much simpler and less intense without him. On the other hand, I enjoy being in a relationship and having the option to start a family, which I really want. I don't feel like starting again with someone else, just the thought of trying to meet someone makes me feel a bit ill. But I know I can't stay in a relationship just because I want children. I do love him, but feel like he's untrustworthy and last night showed me he'd resort to bullying to get his own way. I'm so miserable.