Name changed.
DH and I have been together for 12 years, married for 5. Two children (3.3 and 8m).
He works in a job with crazy hours, and is generally away Monday through Friday, often on a different continent. Contact during this time is therefore minimal at best due to his meetings/time differences etc.
I stay at home with the children and am responsible for them, all kid-related things (doctor's appointments, sorting clothes etc), all the housework and everything else to do with the family (presents for people, booking holidays etc). Basically DH earns the money for the family and I do everything else.
I'm also trying to get another career going for when the children are in school but it's nigh impossible to get more than 30mins to myself in any one go.
At the weekend he's in charge of swimming lessons and then goes to a sports team Saturday afternoon. He generally works Sunday evening.
Recently I've begun to find this whole set up really really tough. I feel like we're leading totally separate lives, and even resent him being around when he is (it feels like the house is 'my' domain and I dislike him messing it up which I know is ridiculous but there we go. I also never know when he's going to disappear into the office to take a call, so I've stopped getting excited that he might be home soon/able to eat dinner with me). I'm scared that everything's just going to drift until it's too late.
So how do people do it? How do you cope and keep your relationship strong? Is our situation utterly ridiculous??
FWIW he loves his job. The money is great but that's not the main reason he does it. He's also excellent at it: very very good. He'd leave in an instant though if I asked him to, but I'm not sure I can do that.
We're living abroad so having family over to help isn't an option.