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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I tell him I know?

16 replies

azteccamera · 18/10/2013 20:09

To cut a long story short I've been seeing a younger guy for the last five months or so. He is 5 years younger than me. I was happy to keep it casual but he really pushed to make it more serious, telling me how much he liked me, wanted a life with me etc.

I always felt that he was untrustworthy and never fully believed what he was telling me, particularly about his feelings. I almost felt like he was goading me into telling him I cared about him if that makes sense?

Anyway, after him telling many times that it hurt him I couldn't be open with him I did eventually. But almost immediately after that he went cold on me. We were due to see each other in Thursday but he canceled; was generally unresponsive on the phone etc.

Anyway we haven't spoken since earlier in the week but I've found out that he slept with another woman on Wednesday, is planning to again tomorrow and now realise he's probably done this throughout the last five months.

So there's no question of me never seeing him again. But do I bother to tell him I know? Or just not respond when he does contact me? I don't want drama but more than anything I want to maintain my dignity...(even if I feel sick and want to hunt him down and kill him)

OP posts:
ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 20:11

I would just disappear from his life. Make yourself uncontactable. It will mess with his head, and that is a satisfying feeling

How do you know what he has been up to, out of interest ?

WhoNickedMyName · 18/10/2013 20:13

He seems like the 'loves an ego boost' type, so I'd just go completely no contact, it'll drive him crazy.

Lweji · 18/10/2013 20:15

Yup, no contact.

ProphetOfDoom · 18/10/2013 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ImperialBlether · 18/10/2013 20:17

Send him a text.

"I've been thinking about you and can't stop thinking about what a complete prick you are. I don't know how I didn't see it before! It's not just that you smell a bit weird and make those odd noises when you're having sex, it's just - sorry, I don't know how to say this - but you're so fucking boring. So, I wish I could say let's be friends, but really I don't want to."

Then immediately block him.

KouignAmann · 18/10/2013 20:17

Poor you. That is a shitty thing to happen. I agree with Scary just withdraw and let him sweat it will be better than a show down. Wazzock!

By the by, my fab friend who found her DP was cheating on her and dumped him discovered that his old iPad that he had given her was synced to his new one and was copying all his smoochy emails and his online diary. So she is morbidly watching the new affair pan out (which is how she found out!). We keep telling her to stop looking, but wouldn't it be fun to change his dentist appointment or alter the day of his MOT and not tell him!!

betterthanever · 18/10/2013 21:37

Imperial after reading that I have smiled the most I have smiled all week. When I need some texts written can I pm you Smile
OP - put that.

notanyanymore · 18/10/2013 21:44

Don't contact him. If you do speak him, be polite, charming and totally detached. whatever you do, don't let on that he can cause any kind of emotional reaction from you (either good or bad) it drives them nuts!

notanyanymore · 18/10/2013 21:45

Ooh Kouign the fun you could have with that...! (Serve the bastard right!)

azteccamera · 18/10/2013 21:53

Thanks for all the replies! They've made me feel much better! ImperialBlether that's brilliant!

I know because he left his Facebook logged in on my home computer last time he was here and I've purposefully have left it signed in so I could look at his messages. I know it was wrong. The worst has to be the girl who added him and within 6 hours (despite it being clear they've not known each other at all) he is trying to arrange to have sex with her and for her to bring a friend for his also attached housemate. Some of the things he's saying are laughable - 'let your hair down, have a date with me and fall in love and I'll have my way with you' Erm what??

Ah well, you've all confirmed what I thought I should do. He will be in touch and I will refuse to acknowledge him. I've deleted his number and everything to do with him. Good riddance. Such a prick!!

OP posts:
Spelt · 18/10/2013 22:00

What a bell end!

ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 22:01

< nods >

PeppermintPasty · 18/10/2013 22:08

Blimey there are some corkers out there. We need a list naming these creatures.
What a shame that it would be unworkable and no doubt libellous. Oh wait-it's only libel if it's not true....hmmmm.

Worth thinking about Grin

azteccamera · 18/10/2013 22:10

I have take screen shots and emailed to my sisters and girlfriends and we've all been having a laugh at his expense. Some of his lines are cringeworthy. He comes across as a misogynist in his messages though, not sure what the women are seeing in him. He's a very good looking guy, but a totally shallow and disrespectful twat! I wouldn't have gone out with him if he's been in the slightest like this with me.

No idea why he was insistent on trying to hook me though, and on telling me so many lies about how he felt. The mind boggles.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 19/10/2013 10:27

betterthanever, any time!

JoinYourPlayfellows · 19/10/2013 10:29

"No idea why he was insistent on trying to hook me though, and on telling me so many lies about how he felt."

The challenge?

The fact that you weren't that into him initially probably made you more attractive to him.

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