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Original poster

How to sign bday card to ExH

23 replies

LalaDipsey · 18/10/2013 19:37

Hiya. It's ExH bday tomorrow, we finally separated in April. I have done him 2 cards, one from DC and one from me. I normally sign cards 'loads of love' which obviously isn't applicable here but equally it feels too cold to put 'best wishes' or even 'from'. He is spending the day with us, along with my parents, any ideas???!

OP posts:
BornToFolk · 18/10/2013 19:39

Do you need to give him a card at all? Isn't one from the DC enough?

CunfuddledAlways · 18/10/2013 19:39

i would just put from / just your name / not get him a card

FannyFifer · 18/10/2013 19:41

A card from your child is enough surely.
Does ex send you a birthday card?

smokinaces · 18/10/2013 19:42

Just write "to exdh" above the verse and under just sign your name. No from, love, anything. Just your name.

ginmakesitallok · 18/10/2013 19:43

Why are you sending him a card??

notanyanymore · 18/10/2013 19:44

How about 'hope you have a great day, LalaDipsey' ?
(you've seperated but he's spending his bday with his dc (fair enough), you, and your parents?!...?)

ems1910 · 18/10/2013 19:48

I put love from rather than lots of love which I wrote when we were together.

Why is it weird that she would give him a card? Unless I don't know the back story.

crumpet · 18/10/2013 19:49

Our split wasn't great, so it would not cross my mind to send a card (and nor would I want to receive one) - it would be an empty gesture, and a waste of both my time and money.

I am very enthusiastic about helping the children with theirs etc.

CallMeNancy · 18/10/2013 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CallMeNancy · 18/10/2013 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LalaDipsey · 18/10/2013 19:52

It hasn't been my birthday yet but yes I'm sure he will send me a card. I've known him for 20 years, it would be rude to not give him one. Wrt spending the day like that - its only because a) I won't let him have the dc on his own (long story but its for the best) and b) there's something I really need to do in the morning so mum and dad will take DTs and he will take DD out for a coffee and then we'll all meet for lunch and then he'll go home.
Thanks, Maybe just 'have a great day, Laladipsey' works best.

OP posts:
Original poster
LalaDipsey · 18/10/2013 19:53

CallmeNancy - I love it - very tempting!!

OP posts:
Bluestocking · 18/10/2013 20:22

Having lurked on your long and painful separation threads, Lala, I can't believe you're worrying about being rude by not giving your ex a birthday card. I can't believe you're spending any time with him at all. I can (sort of) see why you and your parents would arrange a way for him to see the children on his birthday, but why on earth are you seeing him?

Mammybee · 18/10/2013 20:25

Best wishes,
LalaDipsey.

I think it's sounds polite but not too friendly.

Original poster
LalaDipsey · 18/10/2013 20:29

Hi Bluestocking. I guess because we do need to keep things amicable and learn how to successfully co-parent. We aren't going to be able to do a more 'usual' separation (ie alternate weekends with the children) at least whilst they are so young as I won't let him have them. He is now behaving for 3hrs a week with them, with me there, and therefore they still get to see their father which is ultimately what's best, all research shows that unless the father is a complete and utter disaster it is best for children to have contact. I'm just trying to do what feels right.

OP posts:
JacqueslePeacock · 18/10/2013 20:37

Oh goodness. I lurked on your previous threads but didn't know what the outcome was, and have thought of you and your children often. I'm so very glad you managed to leave him at last. I know that must have taken huge courage - so well done you.

I personally wouldn't be giving him a card at all in your situation, but if you have to, then I would go for just signing your name.

ems1910 · 18/10/2013 20:48

Sorry, I wasn't aware of the back story.

Just go for just name or from.

Original poster
LalaDipsey · 18/10/2013 20:50

Thanks Jacques. I am very grateful to everyone who lurked, posted and cheered me on Grin I honestly don't know where I would be today without you lot on MNGrin

OP posts:
Lweji · 18/10/2013 20:51

I think that you are preparing one card from the DC is friendly enough.

I don't do it from DS to DH because when I did (well, sent a Christmas present) he misinterpreted it and he's a bastard I want distance from.

legoqueen · 18/10/2013 20:53

How are you doing, Lala? You have a generous nature for sure, I think 'best wishes' would be okay under the circumstances.

MissStrawberry · 18/10/2013 20:55

Best wishes means you are wishing someone well.

Depends what he has done as to whether that is appropriate.

Original poster
LalaDipsey · 18/10/2013 21:08

Hi Lego - how are you?! I'm good, we're good, thanks. Some most days dc drive me round the bend but we're happier and calmer apart from when said dc send me round the bend Grin and I have to say don't miss ExH at all!

OP posts:
legoqueen · 18/10/2013 21:23

I'm good too thanks, so glad to hear that there's been a positive outcome, you sound loads happier Smile, well done brave lady!

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