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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to confront him?

13 replies

Longo · 18/10/2013 16:54

DP has a long history of hurting me and straying. We split up a few years ago as I had had enough. After six months and a lot of changes we gave it one last try.
Fast forward a year and I have discovered that he has been messaging younger women on facebook and has arranged a date tonight after work with one of the women. I have pictures of messages.
From the messages I don't think anyone he works with know he is in a relationship. I tested him on Wednesday and sent him a relationship request on facebook and he removed himself completely, 20 minutes later saying a friend had put midget porn on his wall and he was frightened his boss would see.
Roll forward to tonight and i have work and dd is being looked after by her grandmother until dp comes home. He hasn't mentioned anything about being late so i am waiting to see if he comes back late.
Even if he doesn't go, I am done. There is no trust, I feel he has broken me and taken away any confidence I had.
Sorry to ramble, but how do I confront him with it?!

OP posts:
ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 16:56

Why do you need to confront him ?

fieldfare · 18/10/2013 16:59

I'd be asking to leave work (if at all possible) for a short time, turning up at his date and asking wtf he thought he was doing. Then he'd be told to go home, pack his bags and move out.

Longo · 18/10/2013 17:06

He works away from us, have no idea where they have planned.
I need to confront him for my sanity, to stand up to him and let him know he cannot do this to our family any more.

OP posts:
joblot · 18/10/2013 17:09

Maybe you need to start planning your next step- finances, housing, contact etc. Be clinical if you can. He's trashed your relationship, don't let him cause any more damage.
Have you got people in rl you can talk to?

Longo · 18/10/2013 17:11

Haven't told anyone yet, I'm too embarrassed.
I'm hoping he will leave but if not I'll be leaving with dd to go and stay with my parents until i find us a new home. We have separate finances so no problem there. No idea how contact will work?!

OP posts:
ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 17:22

Just leave if you wish. send him a text or summat, if you can bothered and he doesn't even deserve that

Seriously, what is the point

If it's over, it's over

What are you hoping for from a confrontation ?

ScaryFucker · 18/10/2013 17:22

Let him figure out how to spend time with his dc

ImperialBlether · 18/10/2013 20:45

Has he come home, OP? If I knew it was happening at the time, there's no way I'd forgive that.

mrspicklepants · 18/10/2013 21:05

You'd be happier without him he is making u feel rubbish.please believe you are worth so much more than this! But lol at midget porn comment.

Longo · 19/10/2013 17:32

He came back, I got stuck at work today so have only just got home.
Just spending some time with dd and will be letting him know the score once she is safely tucked up in bed.
Wish me luck!

OP posts:
Twinklestein · 19/10/2013 17:35

Good luck! What an arsehole...

somethingsnotrighthere · 30/11/2013 07:28

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BuzzardBird · 30/11/2013 07:33

What the hell is that something?

Also, this is an old thread that the Op didn't come back to Hmm

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