Do you and your partner have different views?

[superstarheartbreaker]

It seems to me that finding someone you fancy isnt the problem...finding someone you fancy and who is single, with the same world view is a challenge.
Ive met a very handsome man but he has some strange ideas. He is also a church goer andbi am an athiest do these things matter? Any Christians married to athiests for eg?

Marrying across beliefs is always difficult. Marrying across two beliefs which are fundamentally opposed must be at e harder end of that.

Could you describe your atheism a little more fully? Other than positive belief there is no God as the fundamental meaning of the term, there are many versions within it. If for example, you are Buddhist, then you might find lovingkindness brings you to the acceptance required.

You also need to ask your DP to tread the same journey in regard to his Christianity. What denomination is he?

We're pretty much polar opposites - has made for an 'interesting' union!

I think where faith is concerned the most important thing is that both people respect the other and their beliefs. I know of a church lay preacher who's married to a non-believer.

I think religion is a tough one, especially depending on the person's approach. I know people who are religious and could never be with a non Christian because they would be genuinely worried for their soul. For others who are perhaps more traditionally religious, mutual respect and understanding may be sufficient.

Each person has their moral and values line - for me it's racism, feminism and approach to family. Dh is on the same page as me on those things so it's been fine. For him , while he has the same views as me I think his line in the sand was probably slightly different - family, independence and where he wanted to live. And I was happy with those so we stuck together.

I think that the important things to agree on are things like attitudes to money and parenting styles (assuming you plan to have children). It's hard to compromise on these. I think it's possible to have different religious or political views as long as you both respect the other person's beliefs. Further down the line you may need to consider whether you would be comfortable with your children being brought

up as Christians, as this may be a deal breaker for one of you.

It's a question of attitude. If there is a difference of opinion and it's over something trivial - liveable. If it's a big difference of opinion but you can respect each other's right to hold that opinion rather than trying to change it - fine. If it's something very fundamental, very stupid and/or one partner thinks it's their job to browbeat the other into agreeing with that opinion - or if you suspect it's going to cause problems further down the track (such as raising children) - run like the wind.

Christianity vs Atheism may not be a problem but you mention other 'strange ideas'... I'd personally find it difficult to respect someone if their strange ideas were just rank stupidity.

Or someone who described my beliefs as 'strange ideas'...?

I was once in a relationship with a Catholic guy, I am an atheist. I completely fancied him, we really got on and in a lot of ways the relationship was perfect. I completely respected his beliefs, I understood he went to Church twice a week etc and it was never an issue. We were together for 10 months and during that time I was understanding of his beliefs which meant I went along with the 'no sex before marriage' aspect. I went through a lot of batteries during our relationship!!

However, the differences did eventually become too much and it started to put a strain on our relationship. I was sad when we broke up as he was a great guy but religion and views on life are a huge thing and I think for a relationship to work both people have to be on the same wave length.

dh and me are crazily similar. I used to love firey debates when I lived at home with my father about politics.

now I get all passionate and dh is all 'i agree' and I am half smug and happy and half annoyed we can't spar lol

we even parent the same. the only difference is his mum (my mil) smacks and my mum doesn't.

but we agreed in advance not to smack and mil jumped on board.

I feel like I need to create some drama in my life as it is all too reasonable.

oh and I am technically Catholic and he is technically cofe

we looked at school results and baptised dd accordingly as we are botg really athiest! oh dear

I think you can get along fine as long as you respect each others' beliefs. My husband is a Muslim and I don't really believe in organised religion, I believe in God as more to do with nature. I expect my husband thinks I have some pretty strange ideas but in day to day life we get along perfectly fine, I respect his views and I am happy for our children to be brought up as Muslim. He probably just thinks I am a bit odd but accepts that - lol

It is good that you are thinking about this before getting involved as it could be a problem if you just cannot accept how the other feels.

What are his strange ideas by the way?