Sorry, but I need some perspective.
I left my emotionally abusive husband nearly two months ago, and began a relationship with a friend. Sex with husband was samey, boring, not great, but I did orgasm most of the time. After 8 years together he knew what buttons to press I suppose, but despite that I didn't really enjoy sex. It was functional.
New boyfriend - I am super attracted to him, I want him. However I can't orgasm. There are some issues in that sex doesn't last long, but that is something we are working on - he was celibate for a couple of years before we got together, so I don't know if that's affecting his longevity in bed. But even with loads of build up, loads of foreplay - nothing. Oral sex- amazing, but still no orgasm, and oral has always been a guaranteed orgasm for me.
He is really keen to help me achieve orgasm, he says it's important to him that we both enjoy sex, but I am feeling a little pressured. I'm not even that bothered about it right now, I have a lot on my mind, it's new sex with a new person, I figure I just need to relax into it. But he seems really caught up in the idea that he is failing because I'm not climaxing. Is it possible that I have performance anxiety??? I feel like everything feels right physically but I'm just not getting there. Like I'm reaching that tipping point and then not tipping over.
In terms of my enjoyment, I want to have sex with him, I enjoy the build up and I enjoy the sex we have. It feels amazing. I'm just not climaxing.