How else can I meet eligible men?

[Ikeameatballs]

I'm on matchaffinity and really struggling to find anyone appropriate. I've been on since the end of July and I've been on two dates. I suspected the first was married but working away from home and I didn't fancy him. The second guy just wasn't right for me. I've message another two guys and whilst that was fine I realised that a long-distance relationship would never work for me. I've messaged someone else for a week and suggested meeting up, he hasn't got back to me so I think that's a no :(

Any better ideas for meeting suitable men? I'm 35 and have dc, not interested in having more but of course wouldn't mind a future partner having dc. I'm a busy professional and I have limited free time.

Help!

[FolkGirl]

I agree cu. I haven't had any real success with OD, but I'm pleased I've done it. I've gained far more from it that I thought I would in terms of how I feel about and view myself.

[KristinaM]

I agree with Bant. What if you met the perfect man for you but they were 2years older than you ideal, or a few kilos heavier or an inch smaller? Would you really REALLY turn them down ?

[FolkGirl]

That's interesting Bant.

I wouldn't contact someone whose profile was very specific or had a long list of must haves, but when I see that someone has only specified age and body type, I tend to think they're just casting the net too wide and are hoping to catch anyone they don't find repulsive.

I don't feel I need to match all of their specifics, and I don't need a man to match all of mine, but I like to see that someone has given some thought to it and knows what they're looking for.

[LadyMacbethIsBored]

My friend met a lovely man on MySingleFriend and went on to marry him.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Bant that's exactly what I meant by "don't judge books by covers". I tended to chat to lots of men and see if I enjoyed some banter with them and then move onto a date quite quickly. TBH I didn't have high hopes of the last date I went on because he is physically very different from my "type". We have now been very happy together for 6 months and it's going great.

You have to keep an open mind. Look on it as fun and light hearted, not a husband hunt. And enjoy it.

[FHS]

Well I met mine in a supermarket! I did already know him by sight though.

[Ikeameatballs]

I'm definitely not on a husband hunt! I've now really widened my search criteria so that see as many matches as possible and then can screen them myself on the basis of their profile.

I'm going to stay on matchaffinity until my subscription runs out in December then try match or another site with the fresh meat of the New Year!

[FHS]

Lol - bound to be some newbies after Xmas!!

[ALittleStranger]

MatchAffinity seems a bit sluggish, but in general I would say plug on with OD while keeping real life options open.

So you join a running club. You fancy two guys. Spend a while working out if they're single. A while flirting. You date one for a bit, it doesn't work out. The other one is now reluctant to get involved because you're speedy Steve's ex. Square one. But at least you're fit.

I think you'll struggle to find something better than OD in terms of putting you in touch with lots of single men.

[CuChullain]

I see where you are coming from Bant. I just think that there is often an impossibly high level of expectation when it comes to online dating and it seems from listening to some people on here that they feel somewhat short changed when they don’t find their inbox overflowing with dozens of emails from hot eligible men/women 3 days after joining. When others come on here asking for advice on online dating I don’t think it is very helpful when some posters make glib “it’s full of weirdoes/psychos/married men/timewasters” statements as that is clearly bollocks, that might be their individual experience but that does not mirror everyone else’s experiences as there are plenty of success stories out there as well. To me internet dating did not replace real life encounters, but just added other options. Yeah I met a few fruit cakes to begin with but after that I managed to fine tune my radar and became very effective at screening out the idiots and timewasters so at the very least if I went on a date they more often than not turned out to be very enjoyable evenings, even when there was no ‘spark’ so to speak we still had enough in common to entertain each other, I am still mates with a number of these ‘failed dates’ to this day. It took me a few years of on and off online dating before I met ‘the one’, we are getting married next year.

[Llareggub]

It was much simpler when we were younger. Go to cheesy nightclub, get a bit pissed, snog a bloke and hey presto, he's your boyfriend.