Sorry, supposed to be writing an essay but have got into a sticky patch. Have you ever come across Graham Norton as an agony aunt? So refreshing!
Dear Graham
I started an affair with a guy from work last summer and have now got myself into a terrible mess. We were both in long-term relationships at the time but I subsequently became single after confessing all to my then-boyfriend. However, he is still with his girlfriend and has spent the last few months battling with his guilty conscience over what to do.
He says he is too scared to leave her as he still loves her and doesn't want to ruin his life by making the wrong decision. But, on the other hand, he says he loves me as well and can't stop his feelings.
We have now ended it all and I acknowledge I need to try and get over him; but I know how he feels about me and I can't help but think he has damaged his own relationship. Another issue is that he is 25 and I am 33, and we are both very aware of the implications of such an age gap between us.
Have I been the biggest fool in believing this would all end happy ever after? Will he ever leave her for me?
Roberta, Lincolnshire
Dear Roberta
You haven't been the biggest fool, but I would probably put you in my top 10. After 33 years, you still haven't noticed that guys almost never leave partners for mistresses. Oh, they say they are unhappy, but trust me if a man was truly miserable he wouldn't still be with the girlfriend or wife.
It's also interesting that "the other woman" always feels that she is somehow the wounded party when she was the one who decided to muscle in on another woman's relationship. If this hasn't turned out well for you, perhaps it's because you don't deserve to enjoy happiness that is built on the misery of others.
My advice is to look for love a little further afield than the photocopier and try to find a man who isn't taken, otherwise you will just continue to be a fun distraction rather than the main attraction. Aim higher.