How do you deal with rejection?

[DragonsAreReal]

I don't know if its something to do with being passed around from mum to dad to grandparents and foster parents but it makes sense that's the case.

I cannot deal with the slightest rejection from my partner, if he makes a joke or doesn't wait for me it actually hurts. (I am so weird) last night for example it hurt me physically that he said get off him when I have him a kiss. I went to bed and then we had a huge argument because he didn't come to bed until I stormed downstairs turned off telly and shouted.

I think I'm actually a control freak to because I hate people ringing his phone to because hello what about me when he hasn't seen me for ages!

How do you know if its you or the relationship because its ridiculous the way he makes me feel so rejected over silly things. We split up a lot and this is the major starter cause of our fights.

So he's just left to go back to his house and has said I can do what I want.

How do I know if I'm the one who causes this or he is, surely if someone loves they wouldn't do stuff like what he does, but then I push him away. Ffs I don't even know what way is up atm.

Sometimes I think I'm in an abusive relationship and sometimes I think it's me.

Everyone ie my family and friends think he's a twat and I deserve better then what he treats me but I think I've become that stereotype of 'he loves me really'.

We split up a lot and I'm usually quite happy not being with him (well slightly lonely and I sometimes miss him) and then he pursuades me time and time again to give him another chance and then it all ends up as before. This time though I feel it's my fault I need to get a thicker skin or stop being attention seeking.

Op I am sorry you are upset but your post is a little vague so not sure what is triggering you feeling rejected. What do you meant by you get upset if he makes a joke or doesn't wait for you? In what context does this happen therefore upsetting you? Also are you saying that you get upset if his friends/family call him on his mobile whilst his with you?

It would help just to understand a bit more with regards what is actually triggering you feeling so upset.

He said 'get off' when you kissed him? I would listen to your family and, if he has a house of his own, let him stay there permanently.

If you're lonely shift heaven and earth to increase your social circle, make new friends and boost your confidence. Don't mortgage your self-respect to someone who doesn't give a toss about you. Not your fault

Good luck

Jokes like yesterday we were in the shop he wanted to look in and then when he wants to go he just shouts bye and leaves so I have to catc up with him. When I said about it he said its a joke. It makes me feel really rejected how pathetic of me that it even registers.

And last night when he said to get off him this morning it's been completely denied but I know what he said but he sees it completely different.

I have got a really busy social life and a great group of friends and family and work so when we're not together I'm fine I feel more lonely with him unless he's being nice and he's only nice when I don't want him.

He does have his own house now he moved out a few months ago, I just get so frustrated because we could be so happy if only he'd be nice the majority of the time and think of me a bit more.

He sounds horrible! No wonder you react badly - he's messing with your head.

Think for a moment of having nothing more to do with him - can you imagine how peaceful that would be?

You could be happy if he was nice, but he's not nice, so you'll never be happy with him.

Have had such a nice talk with my gran, she's horrified at him when I talked through our supposedly nice day yesterday, things like him going through my purse and handbag and changing tv channels when me and the kids were watching crappy xfactor because he wanted to watch a film and send kids to bed.

She wants me to get a restraining order so he leaves me alone but I don't need to go that far. I feel firm again in not wanting to be with him and I just feel slightly a lot ridiculous because we always split up and I always end up taking him back and he's always horrible to me again.

It's not normal to be horrible to someone who your supposed to love. Even if it is me not him making this not work it's not healthy and we need to split up properly with no more 2nd chances.

You're right. It's not normal to be so horrible towards someone you love. So the only conclusion you can reach is that the reason he is so unpleasant towards you is that he doesn't love you at all. You can't make someone love you, it's a waste of time.

If you usually take him back and you realise it's been a mistake then do whatever it takes... keep your lovely gran on speed-dial perhaps?.... to not make the same mistake again. Millions of men in the world..

Thank you cog, I don't understand why he keeps coming back though. Why won't he leave me alone and we just get on with our own lives.

He needs a bunk up and knows you're handy? He gets a perverse pleasure out of clicking his fingers and knowing you'll come running? He enjoys the challenge of getting back into your life but then gets bored? There could be a million reasons but you can bet they'll all be something to do with selfish ego-flattering rather than any kind of care for you in particular. Best to place yourself and your immediate family #1 in your thoughts, the other people who make your life better #2 and relegate him to about #71... somewhere between an automated 'have you claimed your PPI refund' message and the germs you bleach off your toilet...

I actually feel sick and hot inside brokenhearted when I perceive I'm rejected, the feeling is actually physical. I hope you manage to find counselling or something and build your self esteem up quite shit isn't it when no one wants you. I wonder if you were like me in your teenage years and give yourself to any man and every man wanting to be wanted?