would like your insight into a preteen "friendship"

[Notmyidea]

Apparently dd's "best friend" gave her a slap around the face on Friday. She's been chiselling away at her confidence for years in spite of all our encouragement to stand up to her. The worst bit is that dd says she was shocked, didn't know what to do and neither retaliated nor got help from a teacher.
Obviously I can't let this go and need to talk to school/other girl's parents (who are very nice.)
But what can I say to her to get the message across that this is not okay? My blood is running cold at the thought of what she might tolerate from future boyfriends.

She may not have known what to do but at least she told you. That's worth congratulating her over. You're doing the right thing reporting the assault to school and you should demand a 2 day exclusion incidentally if it's a secondary school. Physical assault should be treated very seriously. Ask school also if she can be allocated a mentor and also kept away from this girl as far as possible. Otherwise I think the best tack is to boost her confidence in other ways. Does she participate in any out of school clubs, groups, sports etc? She needs to make friends with other girls that aren't aggressive or controlling in order to see that this one is abnormal.

Thanks cognito! I find it really difficult to understand. In so many ways dd is so "strong"; bright, beautiful (although she doesn't think so, largely thanks to the above little madam's comments), she does karate, dance, plays an instrument, she's popular (voted class rep.) In a lot of ways I can sort of understand she stirs up a lot of jealousy in the other lass. But she finds her overpowering. I think a lot of their friendship group do.

Then keep discouraging the friendship, bolstering your DD's confidence and stay hot on the heels of school and make sure they are clipping the bully's wings.

We will d:)I've sent a very measured text to the other mum and an email to school. Thanks again.

If it's any comfort at all, I had a bitch "friend" who once slapped me round the face at school, and I did nothing about it. It didn't indicate anything about how I would react in adult relationships.

That is reassuring, thank-you:)