DH having trouble in the bedroom!!

[gettingthere]

Last year my DH caught a horrible virus that resulted in paralysis from the waist down. Thankfully it eventually went away and he is now back at work and 'fighting fit', as they say.

Anyway the only side effect of the paralysis that hasn't gone away is his inability to fully enjoy sex. (I'm very embarrassed about talking about this but it's really getting me down) Everthing goes well until the end and then...nothing.

I find myself looking at other men and wondering how good it would be. Including some men that I really, really don't want to know anything about!

Is there any advice out there?

when you say ... nothing, do you mean that he doesn't orgasm? or that he doesn't get an erection. Has he been to see gp?

He doesn't orgasm and his erections are no thtat great

Sorry, I meant 'not that great'. It's Friday, I''ve been drinking!!!

has he asked the doc?
will he 'talk'?

I've asked him lots of times to go to the doctor but he's not keen. I

He'd go mad if he knew I was talking about this to anyone.

I'm really fed up though.

As it seems to be the consequence of his paralysis could you persuade him that it's important to go and get things 'checked out' because it's not all back to normal?

I know it's not the same but it took me ages to persuade dh to get a prostrate check from the GP. It was only after 'accidently' leaving a few websites open and just 'coming across' a few leaflets that I gave to him that I persuaded him to go (when I had booked the appointment myself).

When he finally saw the GP he was so relieved and the GP behaved as if it was such a run of the mill routine check that dh was able to joke about it afterwards to all his mates.

My dh will not talk about anything, nothing at all. Not even to me!

I suppose I'm going to have to bite the bullet and tell him how I'm felling about our sex life. Which is crap!

obviously I meant feeling

Gettingthere - If its getting to the stage where you are looking ather men and wondering..... how long would it take before you 'wandered'??

My H had problems too. Not all the time, but most of the time. Very frustrating. His GP just prescribed Viagra, which you can buy online anyway!

Tell your dh that you are worried. Things aren't normal healthwise. I'm sure if you make it sound like a health/physical thing rather than a 'manhood'/psychological type thing he wont feel as if his masculinity is being questioned quite so much.

I have no knowledge at all about Viagra type drugs but could it be something as straightforward as that that could solve all your problems?

I've mentioned viagra to him but again he just tells me that it'll get better. Our sex life was never great but I was always keen, now I'm not so 'up for it'. (so to speak!)

I meant prostate not prostrate

has someone else been at the drink?

I can't get past the thing about your dh's paralysis though. That's big and serious. He should get himself checked out.

I think you have to bite the bullet and force him to talk. Tell him it's affecting you too so he needs to stop burying his head in the sand. Offer to go to the GP with him, book the appointment, drag him there, push him into the consulting room and throughout keep telling him how much you love him for doing something about it.

Go on, tell him now...

OK. I'm off and I'll let you know.

billy goats

pardon?

I know I said i was going but you know what it's like!

Oh come on, NAO. Surely we don't have to accuse everyone who mentions anything remotely sexual of making it up. This is hardly an unbelievable or thrill seeking type thread is it?

hmmmmm

Have i meantioned anything that is sexually explicit? No, I've spoken about a problem that I;m having .

I thought that this site was a place where problems can be discussed.

Thanks for your support NAO!

hows it going gettingthere??

this is a site where you can come for support andyou have support here

Hello gettingthere. Am I right in thinking that your dh had Guillan-Barre? This can take take a long time to recover fully from and imo he really should get checked out for any residual physical problem.

Of course the impact on going from what sounds like a fit and well guy to becoming significantly disabled is bound to have affected him emotionally. His loss of power in his legs (although now recovered from what you say) must have made him feel helpless and unhappy and I'm not surprised that he is now having problems with a lack of power in the bedroom iyswim although I accept that my link may seem a little psychologically crude.

IMHO it's vital that you get your dh to his GP to get this sorted out and in the interim try to keep your thoughs about other men to yourself as imagine how you would feel if the roles were reversed.
Good Luck xx

It was actually the measles virus that went into his spine and the inflamation caused the paralysis.

I agree with everything you've said LaDiDaDi. I spoke to him last night and he agreed to read over the medication he's on. It seems that his symptoms could be caused by one of them. Doc it is then.