Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP WAS a lazy fucker. (Update!)

21 replies

NoSplashNoGash · 12/10/2013 11:08

So, if any of you remember me, I posted on here in turmoil a couple of months ago, because my DP didn't work, was staying in bed until midday leaving me with three DC under 5, not being all that helpful and playing on his games yada yada.

It all came to a head when I packed his stuff and met with his mum and asked her to have him back. But when he got home, he actually showed some passion and said he wanted to stay and listed the ways in which he would change.

I didn't believe him.

Since then, he has:

Got his old job back
Treated me whenever he gets paid
Got an interview lined up for a much better job
Helped massively with the kids, everything from nappies to homework to medicine to taking older one out for a bike ride
Much more initiative
Not had lay ins (unless we agree on the weekend)
Barely played his games
A couple of times he's taken them into town (Long walk) To give me a break
Returned next to me on the sofa :)
He's been out once, but asked for permission, and arranged it for after the DC were in bed
I'm very poorly at the min but he's done everything
And more.

I'm not stupid. Things aren't perfect. Nothing is right? But even his attitude is different now. It's like he WANTS to do things rather than feels he has to.

So... Yeh :)

OP posts:
NoSplashNoGash · 12/10/2013 11:09

OTOH, mil has barely spoken to us since!

I think she's secretly gutted he didn't come back home, both his older siblings have now they're single

OP posts:
tribpot · 12/10/2013 11:10

Very glad to hear things have improved.

Meerka · 12/10/2013 11:10

Wow. This is so lovely to hear.

Hopefully he will keep on being like this ... that will be the real test. But at least this is a very good start :)

Best of luck

NoSplashNoGash · 12/10/2013 11:10

When I got home, not when he got home.

He never went to MIL's! Agh I can't type.

OP posts:
KatieScarlett2833 · 12/10/2013 11:12

Wow, sounds like he got the boot up the arse he needed. Just be on high alert for slippage. Glad you are happier, sounds like he is too Smile

NoSplashNoGash · 12/10/2013 11:12

Thank you! I've been posting lots under a different name, and I did keep meaning to update this, just didn't want to jinx things.

OP posts:
NoSplashNoGash · 12/10/2013 11:13

I will, Katie, trust me! I'm too cynical if anything...

OP posts:
TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 12/10/2013 11:15

It may the the boot that got him going but it may work.
When people are feeling fulfilled they have more get up and go. The positive cycle has started

KatieScarlett2833 · 12/10/2013 11:25

That's true. I know when I am depressed, owning it and trying to make myself do what needs to be done encourages me to get better. It's very easy to get stuck in the cycle, as it were.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/10/2013 11:42

Operation 'Rocket Up The Backside' so far so good. :) Keep your matches and blue touch-paper dry, however. ... relapses are common

Wellwobbly · 13/10/2013 17:00

Nice to hear a good healthy mature response to boundaries, for once!

Hope it goes well OP.

LividofLondon · 13/10/2013 17:12

Wow! So lovely to hear some good news on here Smile Let's hope this is the beginning of a better life for the two of you.

PAsSweetOrangeLurve · 13/10/2013 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockJock · 14/10/2013 06:40

You make him ask permission to go out? Really?

How close to perfect are you then?

I would not like to be you if you slip up.

Lweji · 14/10/2013 07:38

That is a good point.

There is a difference between asking permission and checking that it's ok with a partner.

However, where children are involved checking with a partner should always be a must. No partner should be expected to care for the children just because the other fancies going out.

I hope you are having enough free time too op.

And beware of the rebellion. He may well have grown up, but he could also be feeling like he's on trial and best behaviour.

I hope it's a case of growing up. :)

mammadiggingdeep · 14/10/2013 07:48

Brilliant to read a positive update...

I think in these circumstances he should kind if being asking permission to go out...not permission permission but "is it ok to go?" As in "r u ok with it?"...if u see what I mean?? Think that's as clear as mud but there is a slight difference.

Hope it continues x

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 14/10/2013 08:17

Long may it last, well done.

gamerchick · 14/10/2013 08:23

That us good news.. I'm a bit cringe about the asking for permission to go out. I hope he maintains his new devotion to his family.

I do hope however that he does get some time to himself in occasion to do what he wants to unwind but I'm sure all that's been covered.

NoSplashNoGash · 15/10/2013 19:00

Fuck off, RockJock.

I don't make him do anything. He asked me if it was ok. Whereas before, he'd have probably just gone. Happy?

But to everyone else, thank you

OP posts:
NoSplashNoGash · 15/10/2013 19:03

Gamerchick - I agree with you there. He's bought a new game with his wages and started going on that, but only when we're not wanting to watch tv etc. It's not that often. And I don't mind at all, because he deserves a treat (sounds rude!). Besides that he doesn't really have any hobbies! we both need some

X

OP posts:
Pollydon · 15/10/2013 20:49

Nice one nosplash

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread