Email about cheating - does anyone know how you can trace email address?

[Makqueen2]

Not for me, but someone I studied with recently. I woke up to an email asking me for help as my dh is quite techy, only he's taken ds away for the weekend.

She recieved an email from a google mail account, no name, but the email address is along the lines of [email protected].

It says "Dont think x (her dh) is trustworthy. He's not been honest with you about who he's been in touch with and what he's been doing. Don't think he's always been faithful"

I'll call her later today but in her email she was so confused and has been up all night.

Anyway that you can find out where an email came from? I think
Dh would know but they are in the Peak District so crap phone signal.

Perhaps she should be asking her husband about it?

Sounds like it's an OW to me.

She said in her email that she wants to check it out first.

I don't know them all that well, she was a college frind from last year, but dh and I have been out with them a few times.

Fwiw, they seemed happy, they run a business together and he's not out on his own all the time etc.

I don't think there is a way, really. Gmail is anonymous. The police can get info by requesting it, but I don't know of a way for private citizens to do so.

You can't and doesn't sound like a main email address either so unlikely to have been used elsewhere.

Oh crap. I thought there might be a way with IP addresses?

Yeah, it's very obviously an email address made up just for the purpose of sending the email to her. I feel so bad for her.

There isn't a way to find someone's address/location from an email address (unless you're in the Police, etc). What we can do as private citizens is to find an IP address, but that doesn't give an accurate location (I've known people to be in a certain part of this country and the IP address shows as being overseas!).

Don't think there's a way for citizens to get that info, and don't think she should even bother!

I'd confront him about it if I was that worried..

can it be spam?

The email sounds like someone just trying to cause trouble, I'd be reluctant to believe any of it. Can she email back asking for specific details, times, places, names etc.

It could easily be a nasty form of spam, bluebell.

I also agree with Dancealot that calling the emailer on the details is a good idea.

Perhaps that will answer any questions. If (as is likely) it's just malicious, the emailer will not be able to supply any basis to their original accusations.

If there is no response, I would be even less likely to give it credence.

I think, perhaps, she should show it to her DH, though. But not demanding an explanation for what it might mean. Simply so that he has an explanation for why she is upset.

In other words, she should not assume it's at all true, without further evidence.

Morning OP,

It is possible to trace the origin of an email through the IP address that is transmitted along with the message.

If it's Gmail and sent through a web browser, then the IP will only point to a Google server because they hide the originator. But if it's been sent through a smart phone client like Apple email or Outlook etc, then it is still possible to see the IP in the header.

I would get your friend to forward the email on to you and ask your man to have a look and see if the IP is there. Once you have this, you can search it and it should result in giving the approx area of the origin of the message.

To get the IP:

Log into your Gmail account with your username and password.

Open the message to display the email headers, click on the inverted triangle beside the reply tab and select show original.

Look for received: from followed by the IP address between square brackets [ ].

EG: Received: from [12.123.12.1] by yourfriendsemailaddy@herISP

If you find more than one received from patterns, select the last one.

Once you have the IP, do a Net search and see what comes back.

This isn't really going to tell your friend much more than she already knows though - it's likely to be local and someone close to her. It also isn't going to identify the name of the person that sent it.

Personally, I would go for saying nothing at the moment (because you don't want to alert him and then him cover his tracks) and do some more detective work and see what surfaces.

There are, once alerted to suspicious behaviour, lots of things you can do to gather evidence in readyness for the big talk.

The most important thing here though, is patience. Your friend must bury the emotion for now and take her time to look for clues with a clear head......

Best of luck to your friend & hope everything works out OK for her.

Yes, she said in her email that she wants to check everything out first, so I doubt she'd jump in and ask him without looking for ober things too.

I don't think I could have been spam. That email had his name in. Not his given name either, but the nickname people that know him call him (think Benjamin/Benji).

I'll give her a ring in a bit.

@OP

I would also suggest that your friend sign up on here and start a thread about this. There are tonnes of great people on here that can give her sound advice & pointers on what she can do as this situation develops & also emotional support and encouragement should this turn out to be what we all hope it isnt!

sixfoot Dh called earlier and said the same thing when I asked him.

Called my friend, her dh is working today so she's going to have a dig about on laptops etc. I don't know her well enough to pry but she sounded petty shaken by it all.

Sounds like a spurned OW who wants to let the cat out of the bag anonymously. She obviously knows the email address can't be traced and the H cannot proof if was her.

I think the H has ended their relationship and she is now trying to sabotage his marriage.