A happy update post DV 1 year on....

[dancethenightaway]

I don't know whether anyone will remember my story but on the 10th October 2012 my DD and I left my stbxh on the advice of the Police, we left in my car with a few suitcases.
To cut a long story short there wasn't a place for us in a refuge so we were homeless until 20th October 12.
We were rehoused quickly, our local housing department wouldn't help so I went to our local MP who put the pressure on and lo! We went onto the deposit scheme and moved into a rented flat within days.

So 1 year on.....

DD and I are happy and healthy.
We are still in the flat we moved to, it's nice but I am saving for the deposit to rent a house, it will be good to have a garden again.
My work have been amazing, I've been promoted and my salary is 80% higher than it was a year ago, they have also paid for me to take my Masters.
I have great friends.
I'm busy but happy.

DD is doing brilliantly at school, much better than before. She's gone from being a C grade student to A*s in recent GCSE mocks.
She has made more friends, she is much more content since we left.
We are closer and get on very well.

I've met a man, it's early days but he's lovely, it has potential although I'm taking things slowly.

My stbxh? I hear along the grapevine that his life has taken a turn for the worse.
In the summer he was caught drink driving which has curtailed both his ability to earn money and his hobby (motorbikes).

Thank you to everyone who told me to LTB and then checked that I was alright.
I am

That's wonderful - congratulations on your happy life and high-achieving DD. Good luck with the new man and thanks for updating, it's always great to hear a good outcome and I hope this thread encourages others in a similar situation to leave for a better life. Oh yes, and that's amazing about your promotion and studies - well done, you are a strong and inspiring person!

Good for you. You've really given your daughter someone to look up to, and you've taught her that you don't have to stay in a horrible situation. You should be so proud of yourself .

I am so pleased for you. Onwards and upwards girl!!! Speaking as someone who also left a marriage/relationship after 25 years, I know what courage it took you to do that. I too, just so you know, am doing okay!

Look forward to the rest of your life.

Fantastic post, so good to hear! Well done, you have done an amazing thing.

So happy for you .

Lovely story. Good luck

Well done you!

Now...

What have you done for yourself since you got out? Have you made time to fix the harm your ex did? Did you do the freedom programme or similar?

The reason I ask is because it's so important to treat the pain and damage done, as it simply won't go away by itself.

Therapy in conjunction with the FP is even better.

You can see what normal life is like, and you can see how strong you are, and you are to be utterly saluted on your strength and tenacity.

That phase was called 'Gaining Freedom'

the next phase is called 'Healing Myself' - it's tough sometimes, but it is in effect an act of self love, and acts as a kind of armour to ensure nothing like this ever happens again.

The phase after this next one is called 'Living Life As It Ought to Be.' :)

Well done!

I wish I could 'like' all of your posts, thank you everyone

Hissy to answer the points you made I had been to see my GP a few weeks before I left about an unrelated thing. While I was seeing her she asked something throwaway about how I was.
I started to cry and I told her pretty much everything.

I'm lucky, my GP is amazing and a feminist to boot.
She referred me for counselling and offered me other support too.
I only had to wait a few weeks for my first appointment with the counsellor, in the immediate aftermath it really helped.
Then a few months after the counselling finished I had cbt, both helped, I'm in fine fettle and the door is always open to me if I need to go back.

Funnily enough, I cried a lot for the first week after we moved in, then once at Christmas at not at all since.
I can say that in all honesty I have never missed him, not for a single moment.

I don't know a single former DV victim that ever regrets the end of an abusive relationship, and I know hundreds of former DV victims!

Good for you for getting the counselling, never stop re-investing in yourself, it really will help you protect yourself.

Again, I say bloody well done! Xx

Oh how lovely, well done OP