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Relationships

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Why do i keep thinking about and dreaming of other men?

3 replies

WeirdDreamWoman · 11/10/2013 21:41

So, i keep dreaming about my ex partners and other men, very graphic sexual dreams which to be quite honest are rather nice, but they are confusing me. Do i want to sleep with other men in real life? There's 2 guys in particular i can't stop thinking about, both ex casual flings form when i was younger. Nothing serious ever happened with them. But because i keep dreaming about them i can't stop thinking about them for real! I have a terrible track record for cheating on previous partners but have been totally 100% faithful with current DP and want it to stay that way, so why these thoughts/dreams?! It is confusing me, i really regret cheating on my ex's in hindsight. It did used to give me a thrill though (plus my previous relationships were bloody awful!)

Bit of background, have been with DP for 3.5 years, we have a young DD who we both adore. Our sex life was great until i got pregnant and then it didn't pick up again until DD was about 1, mostly my fault i think. I don't know what was up with me but I really went off sex. We have had our up's and down's in the relationship as normal, came very close to breaking up once but we have recovered from that i think. DP has a bit of an anger problem but is getting much better with it, however he can be very hurtful in arguments though and often says horrible things over the slightest disagreements. These situations are very rare now though. We are for the most part, very happy. Our sex does seem to have become less frequent again though, and again i think its my fault but don't know what to do about it. Any ideas / thoughts would be helpful, i need to sort my head out!

OP posts:
Imogencodpiece · 11/10/2013 21:49

Personally i see that as a sign that you not happy, sex in a relationship ebbs and flows especially after having a child.

Your DP does not treat you with respect and i think that here is where the issue lies. Why do you think the lack of sex is your fault? how can it be, if my H treated me with disrespect i wouldn't want to sleep with him either!

WeirdDreamWoman · 11/10/2013 22:05

I think he respects me but he just has the tendency to be hurtful in arguments. I also think part of the reason i am a bit turned off sex-wise at the moment is due to the fact that DP wants it all the time and he would quite happily have sex all day every day. He is quite needy in terms of physical contact with me, he would kiss me for hours if i let him and while on the one hand that seems really lovely it can also be a bit overbearing. He comes on too strong all the time. He says its because he loves me so much but i feel like he's crushing me sometimes.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/10/2013 06:35

I would suggest your dreams are a form of escapism from the stress of your life. Stress stemming from your partner's behaviour. Anger, hurtful arguments and overbearing sexual attention. That's not 'loving too much' or 'needy' (although that is a common excuse), it's very controlling and disrespectful

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