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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Affair just ended

14 replies

str8tothepoint · 08/10/2013 19:53

I just ended an affair that has lasted a year, should have done it a while back but felt sorry for him. He's in the closet and too scared to come out fears of losing his DC, but his DP knew about me but was under the influence it was all finished. Far from it, it was stronger after she found out than before. I have now changed my number and closed all email accounts has was getting funny phone calls from her and emails pretending to be him when infact it is her. I have just walked away saying a simple 'take care' and gone. I have been tested and luckily have not picked up anything from him. She wanted to meet up with me whilst pretending to be him thinking that I still thought it was him kinda wanted to call her bluff and tell her everything but in all honesty I'm not strong enough and would not want to cause her a breakdown as I am already close as it is hence the reason for walking away. This is a lesson for everyone having an affair or contemplating having an affair - DON'T DO IT!!!!!!

OP posts:

Fairenuff · 08/10/2013 20:31

Your op is a bit confusing. Who did you feel sorry for, the person you were having the affair with, or the husband?

LittlePeaPod · 08/10/2013 20:34

You didn't want to cause OMs wife to have a breakdown? . Clearly she knew this affair had continued otherwise she would not have continued to try and find out. Therefore you have continued to cause her pain. So its now over and you finished it. Well done you, now what do you want. A pat on the back..

Sorry I find it hard to sympathise with people that cheat and then expect a medal when it ends. You should not have done it in the first place!

balia · 08/10/2013 20:35

Maybe the lesson you may need to put some time into is why you would put yourself at risk with someone who is in a relationship and has kids, and only worry about the damage you might do (to yourself and others)afterwards.

Fairenuff · 08/10/2013 20:41

Are you male OP?

tippytap · 08/10/2013 21:26

Have you posted about this before?

mammadiggingdeep · 08/10/2013 21:36

Er...didn't the wife in this scenario post recently??? Or did j dream it......

mammadiggingdeep · 08/10/2013 21:36

I dream it......

Bogeyface · 08/10/2013 22:11

Assuming this is not hairy....

So you had an affair with someone elses husband and are now very proud of yourself for ending it and not causing her any (more) pain?

Bully for you.

Next time dont stick your dick in someone who isnt free.

Original poster

str8tothepoint · 09/10/2013 16:18

They weren't married. And no I'm not looking for a pat on the back or a medal and as far as I can tell my post does not suggest anything of the sort. I'm basically expressing my feelings and my story nothing else

OP posts:

BitOutOfPractice · 09/10/2013 16:22

I am so confused bythe OP. I've read it 3 times now! Still none the wiser! Is the OP a man?

LittlePeaPod · 09/10/2013 16:47

Bit I have assumed his a man from his post.

Original poster

str8tothepoint · 09/10/2013 16:54

Yes I am a man

OP posts:

Sleepyhoglet · 09/10/2013 18:57

What is the point of is thread? We are not stupid. We see enough posts from broken people to know affairs cause damage. Please don't patronise us OP.

Fairenuff · 09/10/2013 20:23

Ok I think I've got it now.

You are a gay man. You are single. You met another gay man who is married. You had an affair with him. His partner (female) found out and he told her he would stop the affair but he didn't, he carried on in secret.

She was suspicious and tried to catch him out by sending you emails pretending to be him. You have now decided to end it.

You have been tested, presumably because you took no precautions to prevent the spread of sti's. You feel lucky that you haven't been infected.

And you think you are doing us a favour by warning us that affairs are damaging?

No shit Sherlock.

The most pointless thread ever.

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