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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

If you found these texts

42 replies

grrrmen · 29/06/2006 18:27

If you found the following texts on your partners phone from an ex girlfriend what would you think:

"Shame you're working, we could've met up.. xx"

"are you back yet babe? xx"

"Sorry I had to go, he was waking up, spk tomorow night xx"

"are you on msn tonight babe? xx"

"just needed someone to talk to..."

what would you think??

OP posts:

SenoraPostrophe · 29/06/2006 20:33

I would think very hard about dumping him just over that comment actually, never mind the texts. or is he really 14?

Dior · 29/06/2006 20:45

Message withdrawn

ScoobyDooooo · 29/06/2006 20:56

No way Dp would deffo be sleeping in the ditch if i found them

warthog · 29/06/2006 21:09

it's a thin line... if don't think he's got over her and it's not fair on you!

warthog · 29/06/2006 21:09

i even

SkinnyMalink · 29/06/2006 21:17

I think he is up to no good, sorry but I would try to get more proof then tackle him with it. It's not nice when it happens but better to find out than not know.

JellyNump · 29/06/2006 21:45

i'd go MAD!!! can u set his msn up so it logs all the conversations he has? i can't remember how you do it, but there is a way.

cutekids · 29/06/2006 22:08

jellyjelly! r u still going to go thru with it?
(sorry to hijack thread!)

JellyNump · 29/06/2006 22:38

I'm JellyNUMP not JellyJelly, sorry

eenywifemum · 29/06/2006 22:41

Havent read the whole thread but I would be FURIOUS. Beyond words.

arfishymeau · 29/06/2006 23:41

When DP was having a fling he got exactly this sort of message. In fact, I found them too and did a good job of verbally castrating him over it. He denied it but the truth eventually came out.

Alipiggie · 29/06/2006 23:46

arfishymeau exactly what I found on my dh's mobile before confronting him about his affair last October. Then found all the emails too never mind what IM'ing had been going on for over a year . Sorry but I would be very very very angry and would confront.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 30/06/2006 07:00

"Its a long distance relationship so he could be up to anything without me knowing".

That comment along with these messages you've read would indicate to me that this relationship has run its course. The main features of LDRs are absense and pain.

I would ask how long it was between you both meeting and him and his ex parting?. If it was less than a year to eighteen months then that's not good either. You sound like the transistional woman - he's not over his ex at all but he just wanted to be with someone else.

Rottielover · 30/06/2006 07:43

He finished with her in the November, we met in the January.

I wish I could check his msn but he doesnt use it around me and now he's very protective with his phone and if ever I do manage to get hold it it's obvious that he deletes messages as he gets them as he'll have 2 messages in the space of 2 months or something.

He said he deleted to sent messages to save space but I dont believe that as he doesnt delete sent messages he has sent to his mates or anything.

I feel bad now as I want to finish with him but he makes it very difficult, he's having a bad time at work right now and I feel awful dropping this on him too, any advice as to how to go about finishing it?

Rottielover · 30/06/2006 07:44

(I am the original poster btw, just under a different name).

anorak · 30/06/2006 08:03

You haven't dropped it on him. He's dropped it on you!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 30/06/2006 08:05

"He finished with her in the November, we met in the January".

TBH it was doomed from the start as he entered into another relationship far too soon. He needed at least a year/eighteen months to get her out of his system and it is all tooo clear from what you have posted he has not. You've been the "transistional woman".

The fact that he's having a hard time at work is irrelevant. LDR's rarely work out longer term anyway without a massive amount of effort from both parties; its no bad reflection on you.

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