sorry in advance for the length of this
I have actually posted this before,, back in March, haven't been back on the site since, been trying to move on.
Background - with ex partner for 2 1/2 years. I am 43 and infertile, need IVF with egg donor to conceive. We had a wonderful relationship, both thought we'd had eventually found the right person. We decided to try for a child and in the last 6 months did two rounds of IVF with egg donor. Both failed.
We got the results of the last one the Wednesday before Xmas (2012). Both devastated but from that day onwards my partner just went totally distant and we hardly spoke to 2/3 days. To cut a very long story short he then, completely out of the blue and completely out of character announced that, actually he didn't feel the same and our relationship was over! This was 2 days before Xmas. He turned into the most cold, callous person ever. As you can imagine, Xmas/New Year etc was the worst time of my life. I thought I was just dealing with the IVF failing so to have all this on top was almost too much to bear.
I know many of you will be thinking it is just an extreme reaction to the IVF etc but it wasn't. He admitted it was a reaction at the time but he stood by it. He said it made him think about us, what we had/didn't have and decided that it was best to end it now as he didn't feel the same anymore.
There was absolutely no warning. Up until this he had been as loving/supportive as ever, we were talking/planning our future etc etc. He came out with crap like 'all we've done is IVF and the house,' 'I've fallen out of love with us' etc etc
To anyone that meets him he is the perfect gentleman. The ultimate nice, decent guy.
We don't have any contact now, that is what he does, goes totally cold. Haven't had any contact since very brief contact to get my stuff back in January, which I'm actually glad about, as there is no point in contact.
It's just I am STILL struggling sometimes to move on from it. Most of the time I am actually quite strong now - have even bought a new house that needs renovating and am in the middle of that but there is not a day (not even an hour really) that goes by without me thinking about him. I will never understand how he could have done what he did, how someone could be so cruel but I suppose I had a lucky escape.
It's just hard, not just losing what we had, but just dealing with the fact that I am now 44 (as of yesterday!), single, no chance of ever having my own children etc etc.
Am I over reacting? Should I have moved on by now?
xxx