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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Namechanged - looks like DP has given me herpes...

13 replies

discoveredsomethingnew · 06/10/2013 18:38

I have been with DP for 3.5 years. I have been completely faithful in that time. Last weekend we were away for a weekend without DC and early last week I started to feel pain and itching. It got so bad I went to see GP and was swabbed for herpes. Have since had blisters and open sores. Need to wait a week for test results.
I am in a lot of pain and feel quite unwell. Have discussed with DP and he thinks its because he gets cold sores v occasionally. From what I have learned from googling HSV it seems he could be right. I feel terrified and v embarrassed about the condition. I am also going through menopause so feel v unattractive and scared about future..if we ever split up and the thought of having to disclose my condition. I have spent the weekend crying.

OP posts:
DontCallMeDaughter · 06/10/2013 18:42

It's horrible but it's going to be ok. My best friend caught herpes from her dh's cold sore and she has never had a flare up other than the first one (7ish yrs ago now). I'm not sure how true it is, but she was told that oral herpes was less problematic than genital herpes and flares up a lot less.

Have you explained to dh how you feel? He should be taking extra special care of you considering everything you have going on.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 06/10/2013 19:05

It's ok, really. It's not a big deal. Would you disclose to a new partner that you had the cold sore virus before kissing them? Well this is the same. 75% of the uk population carries the herpes virus! most people have it, they just don't all know it. It's annoying but if it's type one it's very mild.

Original poster
discoveredsomethingnew · 06/10/2013 19:08

I realise I did not make myself clear...my infection is genital, although at this stage I don't know if it is type 1 or type 2

OP posts:
pookyandponky · 06/10/2013 19:55

Hi, I suffered this. Don't panic. Mine was caught on my genitals when there was no cold sore visible. It's called a-symptomatic shedding. Virus is on the skin but no sore is showing. Oral sex will do it when your immune system is down. Sometimes you are just one of the people that haven't come in contact with this virus before. If it's type 1, it doesn't mean unfaithfulness just one of those things.
Hope this helps.

pookyandponky · 06/10/2013 19:55

Hi, I suffered this. Don't panic. Mine was caught on my genitals when there was no cold sore visible. It's called a-symptomatic shedding. Virus is on the skin but no sore is showing. Oral sex will do it when your immune system is down. Sometimes you are just one of the people that haven't come in contact with this virus before. If it's type 1, it doesn't mean unfaithfulness just one of those things.
Hope this helps.

Original poster
discoveredsomethingnew · 06/10/2013 20:11

Thanks for replies all. I don't have anyone I can discuss this with in RL so MN really helps at a time like this.

OP posts:
Matildathecat · 06/10/2013 20:15

Also, first outbreak is usually the worst. Do discuss with your GP and if not very helpful go to local sti clinic.

Hope you feel better soon.

KouignAmann · 06/10/2013 20:29

If it is herpes it is worth getting aciclovir as soon as possible while the blisters are fresh to eradicate the virus. I would suggest you phone the doctor in the morning and explain the rash has come out and ask can you start treatment before the swab is back. 5 days later is too late... and there is no downside if the swab is negative.

Sorry you are sore and upset OP

Original poster
discoveredsomethingnew · 06/10/2013 20:34

KouignAman, great advice, I will phone in morning about aciclovir. Anything I can do to help myself right now would be good. Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
discoveredsomethingnew · 07/10/2013 21:15

Update..went back to gp today. Turns out I wasnt swabbed for hsv last week but for some other nasties..these have come back clear. However the gp was able to observe the blisters and sores today so has diagnosed herpes from that. I have started on aciclovir and have been referred on to GUM clinic.
I hope it is type 1 as it does seem related directly to DP cold sore...he is v upset for me but we will get through it.

OP posts:
EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 07/10/2013 21:26

Did the gp swab today?

jayho · 07/10/2013 21:37

The virus lives in a nerve and will flare up from time to time, if you're run down particularly. Regularity of attacks diminishes over time - usually. I get it about once every 18 months now. I get nerve pain down the back of my leg and general sniffle type early cold symptoms when an attack is brewing.

A large dose of lysine for about 4 days can fend it off and certainly reduce the severity of an attack. I use acyclovir topical cream but have avoided taking it regularly as a pill as it is a potent anti viral and I'm cautious about becoming habituated to it - no scientific basis for this - but the long gap between attacks makes me feel it's a bit of a sledgehammer approach.

I've had it for over 25 years and it has never interfered with my ability to form relationships.

I haven't name changed because it's part of me. It doesn't make me a worse person. I didn't act irresponsibly and neither did my partner. Millions of people have this virus. It doesn't define you.

Good luck

Original poster
discoveredsomethingnew · 07/10/2013 22:11

No Ehric no more swabs were done by GP. Thanks to those fellow sufferers for making me feel less scared. There is a lot of negative stuff online. I am sure once this first attack settles I will learn to cope

OP posts:
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