Found messages on husband's phone

[INeedVodkaNow]

Name changer here

I found out this morning that my husband has been texting and phoning a woman he met online 6 weeks ago. I saw three messages from her that asked why he wasn't contacting her anymore and that she's scared of getting hurt. So it has apparently recently stopped.

I am beyond furious and have told him I can't forgive this. We have two young children.

He told her we had broken up after this thing between them started for fucks sake. I have contacted her and received no reply (although she has been txting my husband's phone)

I don't know what to do

What do you want to do?

Call her from your husband's phone - she'll pick up. Not sure what else to suggest but this was the only way i could get OW to pick up - she even left a message on H's work voicemail saying she only picked up because she saw it was his number.

Good luck and hugs t you - this is an awful time.

Why do you want to contact her?

Why do you need to speak to this woman ?

The problem is your deceitful husband. Make him call her in front of you and set the record straight.

I know- I sent her a message saying I don't have an issue with her, I just hoped she could be honest with me as (I don't trust my lying shit of a husband)

I know they haven't met as a different part of the UK (as far as I know) but it is still as fucking bad to me

would it be an overreaction to end my marriage over this?

I don't want to be married to someone who can lie to me and start a what, non physical affair? Or whatever it is

In my world, it wouldn't be an over reaction. Your response is your own to make. Do you think you would get undue pressure to sweep this under the carpet from him, your family or your friends ? Because this is your life, not theirs.

If it's a deal breaker for you, so be it.

What do you think would have happened if you hadn't caught him out ? it may be "non physical" right now (but don't bet your house on them never having actually met...) but it would have escalated do you think ?

he will deny that, of course. But they always deny that.

My advice would be to take a breath and don't rush into any life changing decisions.

What he has done is grounds to end a relationship, but that doesn't mean that you have to.

Maybe ask him to move out for a while so you can have the space to think about what is right for you and your children.

I am sorry you're going through this

it really is a deal breaker for me

he's just gone

will be back later when on laptop later-crap at typing on touch screen phone

Good for you for having unequivocal boundaries. Do come back if you want to talk it through further.

Give yourself time. You don't have to talk to him yet.

How did they meet online? What site etc?
Did he go looking for an online affair or did it happen by accident??

How were things before? Has he done this before??

So sorry you are going through this.Can relate completely.My DH was texting daily ,and messages had become sexual in content , a woman he also met on an almost daily basis through work.Plus they contrived to arrange their days at work to make sure they met up.It wasn't a physical affair ,but to me it was and always will be an affair nevertheless.So please don't feel you are over reacting.If it's a deal breaker that's for only you to decide.
What I will say without going into too much detail is that several years on DH and I still together.A lot of hard work and heartache along the way,but he committed immediately to changing patterns of behaviour ie.secrecy and flirting and at his suggestion we went to counselling.You are very wise to ask him to leave and give you space straight away.I did not and still regret that .I was so shocked and confused,plus we had a lot of family stuff going on and I felt I had to hold everything together for everyone else's sake.If there's one piece of advice would give anyone in your position in these early days it is keep calm - so hard - and insist you will only talk when you are ready,and he is ready to be totally honest.No minimising,excuses or bullshit.

Girls remember trust your f instincts when you feel your man is hiding something and cheating either psychically or digitally trust your guts my ex was trying to tell me to go seek some medical help because I'm going insane but there's a saying the truth will always come out sooner a later but been a " Man" still not admiting even with evidence in his face is not a real man and just try i don't know lie to.himself or what but I'm over amd done with still healing but better without this controlling fucker that he was trying to call me crazy and even put my own kids against me ur worth shit atleast admit to yourself your a scambag for so many years calling me insane for making things up and questioning him.......... atleast real men mostly admit and atleast say sorry or something but this f*** will stick to his story even if u put him down he will never admit ......... 10years of marriage.... I only thank God for my two kids girls watch out and trust your guts I'm telling you..... and same go for some men because men ain't only the victims to be honest..... some woman girls can be doing things to their faithful men too....