want to finish

[RottieLover]

I want to end my long distance relationship but when I try he talks me around. I told him a few weeks ago that I want to end it as he's childish (thinks its fun to race a bike at 120mph down a motorway for instance), terrible with money and just generally not suited to me. I want a man, not a boy (I didnt say that bit to him!).

I told him all this over msn and he ended up phoning me at 2:30am begging me to give him one more chance...waking the kids up in the process . He came down last weekend saying he was going to change but I dont think he will, if anything he seems to be trying to wind me up saying stuff that he knows will annoy me.

So how do I get him to realise that it's not working? I dont want him to keep laying the guilt trip on me, I wish he'd just say 'ok'!

Well if you tell him this again over MSN why not turn off/unplug the phone, so he cannot contact you??? Or perhaps if you email him and ignore any calls from him?
He sounds very similar to how dh used to be, he used to race his bike down motorways, he was thrown off once and got a punctured lung, he's also still not that good with money...sounds very similar.

I ended a 3-year long-distance relationship over two very long phone calls. It was horrible - lots of sobbing his end, but I'd reached the end of my tether with grand declarations and promises that had no RL about them. Afterwards I just felt relief, and he did cease contact. If it feels like it's time to end it, then it may be a good idea to say: no msn, no phone, no letters, no texts, no nothing. Hard in cyber-age, I know. Good luck.

Ive noticed a lot of long distance relationships seem very similar to mine... what was your experience toadstool? (sorry if that's too nosey, just say if you'd rather not discuss it )

Mine was mid-20s, I was studying, he was a wannabe actor-writer-whatever. I was the stable place, he moved to London to find fame, returned to his parents' because he was skint, etc.- then I moved abroad for a year, and he carried on insisting we were soulmates, but the relationship got more and more tense, and (for me) boring. He had a 'fling' with at least one woman over those 3 years - never actually admitted it, but tried it on with my best friend once when he was fed up with me. There was A LOT of guilt-tripping. When I got my first job (also abroad) I pulled the plug - I'd simply had enough of it all, and wanted to move on. I just knew it would be better to end it than to carry on feeling blackmailed into continuing a dead relationship. 10 years on, he's still (by all accounts) a wannabe... and tried it on with me behind his gf's back when we met up again...So it was the best thing.

Thanks for sharing that Toadstool I often wonder what Ill be doing in 10 years time...