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Original poster

Boyfriend missing his ex

41 replies

propsandmayhem · 05/10/2013 04:19

This kind of pales in comparison to some of the other stuff here but anyway...
I called my boyfriend this evening, and when he picked up he was really emotional. Turns out he was missing his ex. I don't know how to feel about this. He insisted that he still loves me and blah blah blah, but I can't help feeling a bit put out. Am I just being a silly moo? Sad

OP posts:
KatieScarlett2833 · 05/10/2013 12:18

The correct response was to tell him to fuck off back to her then.
Be no mans second best.

brokenhearted55 · 05/10/2013 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoanRanger · 05/10/2013 12:30

Be careful. I had one who did this. Mt first reaction was right – I felt hugely hurt. But then I decided that I was going to be The Most Understanding Girlfriend In The World ever because of course that was what went wrong with his exwife, wasn't it? She didn't understand. Obviously. And eventually he would feel ready to be properly in love with me, all the more so because I was The Most Understanding Girlfriend In The World.

Yes. Ask me how that relationship went... Or don't...

AlfalfaMum · 05/10/2013 12:35

I'd have very, very low expectations of him if I were you.
End it now, save yourself some humiliation.

Putitonthelist · 05/10/2013 12:44

I'd end it too.

It happened to me. They had been split up for 6 months after 10 years together. A week after him dumping me because he missed her they were back together.

On reflection he spent a lot of time talking about her (90% of it in a derogatory way) and I honestly believe it's a habit that he can't break.

Save yourself the heartbreak I went through OP, he's obviously not ready for another relationship.

Original poster
propsandmayhem · 05/10/2013 13:02

We've only been together a couple of months, they broke up a good six months before I met him and they were only together for about six months also. They're not in contact anymore. He's 18, I'm just 19. Sometimes I feel like much more of an adult than him. The thing is, he is so accepting of the fact that I have a baby, even though he doesn't understand why I get upset about DS's absent father, and thinks I should just forget about it. I sometimes bite my tongue because I don't want to start any arguments. I've had a couple of doubts before. In a way I think I should go with what all of you are saying and just put myself and DS first, but I don't want to upset anyone.

OP posts:
KatieScarlett2833 · 05/10/2013 13:17

Just move on love. You can do better Smile

SirChenjin · 05/10/2013 13:21

18 and 19? Crikey - move on!!

SatinSandals · 05/10/2013 13:45

Definitely put yourself and your baby first. I don't think you want an extra child!

Anniegetyourgun · 05/10/2013 14:08

Ah, he's very young then, he's got a lot of growing up to do before he's ready for a real relationship. Hopefully somewhere along the way he'll develop some empathy - like, realise it's not exactly fair that he's allowed to miss his ex but you should just get over yours Confused

Meanwhile, move on, as they rightly say. Dump him kindly, but do it. You and DS don't need this in your life right now.

RevelsRoulette · 05/10/2013 14:15

by 'anyone', do you mean him?

Because it must be upsetting to you to have your boyfriend clearly say that he's still pining for his ex.

And your baby, tbh, won't give a shit either way.

Don't stay with someone because they 'accept' the fact you have a baby.

flowery · 05/10/2013 14:28

Oh, I totally agree the OP needs to move on, wasn't disagreeing with that. I just think it's sad to assume the worst about someone with no reason to do so, which I think some posters were doing.

Fairylea · 05/10/2013 14:59

Goodness me, I assumed he was a widower in his 50s or something!

He definitely isn't ready for a new relationship.

Move on, you can do better :)

Madratlady · 05/10/2013 15:12

18 is very young, much more so for boys as they seem to mature slightly later. From what you've said so far he doesn't sound grown up enough to cope with the 'real life' of taking on a child etc but you've got lots more responsibility with your ds so you're probably way ahead of him in terms of maturity!

I wouldn't want to stay with him in your situation. I moved in with a dp aged 19 and he just couldn't cope with having to be a grown up.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 05/10/2013 15:17

You're a 19 year old woman, with a child to raise. He's just a boy, honestly. It shouldn't feEl like this a couple of months in.

DontmindifIdo · 05/10/2013 15:18

Move on. He's very young and obviously hasn't got over her yet. While he only dated her for 6 months, that was a quarter of his over 16/adult life.

You are 19, there's soooo many other options out there!

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