In the spirit if not wanting to drip feed, I will try to briefly outline the situation.
My dsis is older than me by 4 years. We have always been quite close but not in each other's pockets. I love her to bits but she has the ability to drive me mad.
My sister has never really been happy or content in any job. She has worked really hard over the years to get her degree but is frustrated that it hasn't got her to where she thinks she wants to be. My dsis has had numerous jobs over the years but she is very quick to find fault. She resigned from a job without securing another one first and then spent almost a year out of work.
We then very sadly lost my dad nearly six months ago. My dsis has tried hard to get back into work. She works for an agency which keeps putting her forward for long term positions. She secures the position ok but within a couple of weeks it all goes tits up and they let her go.
For years now we have talked endlessly about her feelings, her stress levels, her love life problems, her work problems what to do, what not to do, big plans, small plans. She regularly asks for advice, I listen, we talk things over, I tell her what I think, she agrees, all is better. Then just a few weeks later, it starts all over again.
I have lost count of the times we have talked about whether she is depressed. She swings from being absolute certain that she is not, to maybe she should go to her GP. I have had depression myself and counselling which she knows. I feel like my dsis treats me as her unofficial unpaid counsellor. She off loads, I listen, she feels better, she goes out spending money, I worry and then the cycle starts all over again.
My reason for my post today is this. She has lost another job. Has sent me various text messages. Has posted cryptic messages on the dreaded FB. It's all attention seeking posts followed by "I can't tell you on here!" . And I have had enough.
I have listened for years and years. It doesn't get better. I am grieving too. I miss our Dad too. I found out this week that my lovely MIL has Stage 4 breast cancer and starts Chemo next week. The prognosis is not great.
If you have got to the end of this post, I salute you. I just don't want to walk away from my dsis in her hour of need. But I am tired of being the one who picks up the pieces. This has been our relationship for the past twenty years. I no longer want to be the rescuer. But how do I pull back? Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.