Anyone fancy comiserating this evening re: relationships?

[Capitaltrixie]

Relationship is not going well (at all); feels particularly rubbish as it's what I would have classed as my first 'healthy' one (not so good relationship history, EA etc).

I don't want to wallow tonight..but just wondered if there's anyone out there feeling equally disillusioned after thinking they'd found 'the one' and also feeling a bit generally rubbish this evening? maybe we could exchange jokes/relationship stories..(I only know one joke mind!)

sorry to hear that brokenhearted, glad you've joined though we need some jokes/pearls of wisom I think

When shall we open the wine? I've got a bottle chilling in the fridge!

I'm out of a 20 year relationship but can relate to what you are saying.

Can I join? I have to have a conversation this weekend which will basically being me asking him if he had an affair 9 years ago. Pretty shit really.

Who mentioned wine?

Count me in...

Wine is already open in my house itwillgetbetter it sounds like a massive adjustment..how are you feeling?

Of course thistle, hope you're ok..stay strong. When are you having the discussion?

Ok.. Funniest / weirdest place you have had 'intimate' relations... Is that too much if a starter for 10? Should I have waited til the wine was flowing.....

Discussion will be Sunday night. Not looking forward to it :(

Strangest place? We're unadventurous, wish I could say a roller coaster or something .

Can I join? 10 year anniversary today and nothing but a card from (not so) dh!

bonkerz At least you got a card! Dh and I are both a bit crap at doing anything on anniversaries. A couple of years back, we got home from a long-haul flight at 5am on our 15th anniversary. He went out to do a Tesco shop and got me flowers, because he often does (but had actually forgotten the date!) I had remembered the date was coming up, and had bought and signed a card in advance.
So, he gave me the flowers (just because), and I then remembered the (forgotten) card in my underwear drawer and we then grappled as to which of us had the moral high-ground.

red on the beach, bit boring really and with someone else now I think about it (a boyfriend though! I'm not that bad!) Anyone else?

Really hope it goes ok on sunday thistle..god..I can't imagine..are you ok though?

Yes bonkerz of course! I would be a bit miffed too..

clamthat's not too bad I'm thinking..

It's my birthday tomorrow...no long lie as he's playing golf at 0720am...I did find a birthday cake (badly) hidden in the kitchen...a Batman cake ffs lol

Capital I'll be alright. Feels very surreal just now but recent developments have forced this on me. I know it was at least an EA but need to know exactly what happened back then.

It's like a warped trip down memory lane!

batman cake bless! he's trying I guess though?! happy birthday for tomorrow Mum2 btw x

Capital - what's your one joke? I need to keep my mind busy

Mumtofergus the Batman cake made me laugh .

Glad thistle I'm not surprised you want to know though..not easy..is he admitting to the EA? (don't feel you have to talk about it though by any means if you don't want to).. we're all about the jokes etc tonight if that helps..!

Righty - my one joke is about a lobster. It starts with a lobster going into a bar..anyone know that one?

Thank you Trixie

Nope, what happened in the bar

Right well:
The lobster walked into the bar and he was giving it all that and the barman said: 'we're not serving you, piss off' so the lobster walked in the second night and the barman said 'we're not serving you' and the lobster said 'look mate, all I want is a drink, why not?' and the barman said 'I'm not serving you cos every night you come in here giving it all that

Pretty rubbish eh!

No wonder I'm single

At least you got me to crack a short smile, thanks

That was bad .

I know a joke about two prawns if anyone wants to hear it, will make you groan!

I have a thread about it so won't clog up the 'fun' page but he has admitted nothing...yet.

Batman cake? Well, Least its cake...

Joke .. What's the fastest cake in the world... Scone!
What's the fastest drink in the world... Milk.. Coz it's past-yer-eyes before you see it .. They are my two best jokes. Yeah, can see why he dumped me can't you

And my funniest intimate venue is a roman fort ... BJ after using one of those performer condoms makes your mouth all numb like being at the dentist. I know i am a classy chick. Plenty more where that came from..

Paul and Christian are two prawns who live on the sea bed. On day Paul told Christian that he was fed up being a prawn, he was sure life was more exciting for the much bigger, faster fish. Christian told him to go and see the wise old cod who might be able to help. Paul scuttles off and the wise old cod agrees to grant Paul's wish and turns him into a shark. Paul is very pleased and swims off to show Christian his new look. Christian takes one look at the shark and runs away and hides in rocks, no amount of coaxing from Paul will make him come out of his hiding place so Paul swims sadly away. Time passes and Paul gets fed up with all his old friends running and hiding from him and is feeling very lonely so he goes back to the wise old cod who turns him back into a prawn. Paul once more goes in search of his old friend and when he sees him shouts "I saw cod! I'm a prawn again Christian!"

Hmmm thistle(bit rubbish but better than the lobster..)

And red I like that! what the f is a 'performer condom' not heard of that!

Feeling properly rubbish now..I'm now single again it seems.. (said I wouldn't wallow but hey..) Ug ug ug!