Leaving partner amd moving away - legal advice please?

[Sparrowlegs248]

Not me.

She lives in NI and has two small primary school children. He is an arse of the highest order. If i posted details on here everyone would agree it was quite an abusive relationship. She has told him she is leaving and returning to England.

He has said he will go to court to prevent her taking the children.

If he does, how long will it take? Can he prevent her moving with them?

Thank you.

Another vote for proper legal advice. He could try to get a Prohibited Steps order if he chose over here; dunno what the situation is there. I don't think it's worth risking just assuming she can remove them unilaterally. If he argues she's trying to remove him from their lives and she's effectively done a runner without his prior knowledge or consent, then she's on the back foot in disproving that claim. The court would have to weigh the undeniable dilution of their time with their father plus a potential aim on her part of eventually ending their relationship, over another disruption to their lives and her increased support in England/the impact on them of her unhappiness in NI, and there's just no telling where they would draw the line, I don't think. It's case by case with family law, and her solicitor would be the person to tell her the likeliest outcome when apprised of all the facts.

The linked thread is 4 years old - the law can move pretty fast because higher court judgements then bind the lower courts. It isn't just about legislation. Honestly, she needs to see a solicitor so she can be sure all she does is above board. The law is bloody complex - you wouldn't try to plumb in your own boiler, and law is not dissimilar in terms of the need of expertise, experience and training.

I hope it works out for your friend's kids, and herself. Miserable situation.

Cogito I (obviously) sympathise with the feeling, but the reality is that some parents do manufacture DV/DA claims to try to remove the other parent from their kids' lives, courts are aware that happens, so she needs to talk through the various options with a solicitor and what the potential risks of each route are.

She doesn't have to do what they advise, but jumping blindly doesn't seem that wise. Though I would also advise, if he is abusive, that she also talks to Women's Aid, and they can perhaps help her with locating a solicitor who is expert in dealing with DA cases, who can tailor the advice accordingly? Can't do any harm.

Sorry OP, just to clarify that I wasn't saying your friend is legit, just that some people who are not, seek to make that claim without merit to gain legal advantage, and as a result courts are unable to just take an abused partner's word for it.

Thank you all. He is saying that shes an unfit mother. She is their mother, parents them pretty much alone and they are lovely children. They are not all that keen on their dad however and he is carrying on his life as if they don't exist. She is certainly not playing the dv card whereas he is trying to tarr her with the unfit mother brush. Even though he doesn't want them full time.

Perfectstorm - thank you i know what you meant. I work in a field where i come across the situation you mentioned frequently.

Is his name on the children's birth certificates and were they born after 2002?

glad she has the support of a friend like you. I think if he knows she gets the legal advice and her friends and family know what he is saying she may find he backs down, bullies often do.

I think so acrylic and yes i think you are right cjel he is def. A bully.

Oh, that's a shame as if not married he wouldn't have parental responsibility automatically unless on birth certs.

Oh, good - I phrased that really badly. I'm very tired at the mo (pregnancy and a sleepless toddler) and it doesn't help me write lucidly, to say the least.

I think a solicitor recommended by Women's Aid might be just the ticket, perhaps? She could probably do with one on her side, if her family can help with that expense. A really good solicitor will hopefully give her the best shot she has of going home. I do hope so.

My hackles rose with the "unfit mother" schtick. Obviously in a very few cases that's so, but it does ring big alarm bells when a bloke is happy to delegate almost all care and responsibility, but when she wants to leave she is suddenly "unfit". Nasty little form of attack. And I'm also so glad she has you to help shore up her knowledge that she's being bullied (and gaslighted?).

Sorry if my link was out of date, I just had a bit of a google!

Thing is, Northern Ireland is very small. Everyone knows everyone, so if he's that abusive and is well connected within his local community, she needs to be incredibly careful about where she goes for advice. I suggest finding a firm of solicitors where people are dual qualified in England & Wales and Northern Ireland and ideally a larger firm with branches in NI and England. If that doesn't work, then a firm in the next town along may be a better bet than one in the area she's living in [relative risk of people seeing her enter + leave].

If she cannot safely get legal advice, consider (a) getting to England and sorting the mess out from there, (b) involving the police, (c) women's refuge.

Flights to/from NI are barely an hour long - if she's living within reasonable distance of an airport in England, then there's not much difference for the children between short drive + plane trip to NI to see their father & longer drive within England.

I know someone who did this the other way around, moved with DC from England to NI.

The father flies into Belfast to see DC and sometimes, the mother takes DC to England. It's not so far as not to be feasible.

However, they weren't married so I don't know if that affects the legal situation.