What is phone sex?

[Crawling]

I have bipolar and I get hhyper sexual and sleep around while manic. So dh and I agreed to phone sex in order to attempt to atop me sleeping around. We never specified any more than phone sex or what constitutes phone sex.

While manic I had what I consider to be phone sex. This involved masturbating on the phone and sending pictures and videos,

Dh came across a video and was angry as he thinks phone sex does not involve videos and pictures. I see now that we should have been more specific but I'm interested in what others consider to be phone sex? Thank you,

I think 'old school' phone sex was two people masterbating on the phone to each other, dirty chat and the like.

These days the boundaries are a bit more blurred given the ease of broadcasting/transmitting images and video.

Is the definition of phone sex really that important?
Wouldn't you be better off addressing the concerns you have about your dh?

Sounds a desperately hard situation for you both.
No advice other than to maybe ask for a med review? Are you in regular contact with your psychiatrist?

....and there seems little point in semantics and setting boundaries if you are in the middle of a manic episode? I am guessing boundaries wouldn't actually make any difference at such a time?

Crawling - you are on the right path. In a much better place than prediagnosis. With your illness your meds will be strong and require long periods of taking them (a) for the side affects to wear off and (b)for them to settle down and see if they suit you. So after all that time you may need a completely different medication or combination of meds. This is frustrating but once you find what suits you, you will improve massively and controlling your illness.
Once you are on a settled medication you will know what is normal for you and get better at catching your highs and lows, and form coping methods.
Sleep is a big thing to get right

Is this something you talked about to your DH before you married or is it a recent development?

I think you need to talk to him about what he is willing to accept and not ask a bunch of strangers.

But as you have, phone sex is 'mucky chat' which often ends in one or both people having an orgasm. Videos and pics don't come into it.

Im certainly not ignorant to bipolar. I have lived with a mother and father all my childhood years who have bipolar. I also campaign for Bipolar Scotland. And also Iam specialised in PND as a midwufe for years.I have seen ppl who are sex addicts who trait depressive symptoms. I never said ppl with bipolar are hyposexual in my post. I have just never met any one with the condition that is only promiscuous when their manic.

But suppose i'll jot that down for my next meetin

CuChullain but satisfying some more.

I agree with people who are saying it doesnt matter what the correct definition of phone sex is, whats important is whats agreed between you and your dh.

Please be careful as this can make you very vulnerable. I feel for you and your dh, what a horrible situation. Fwiw i dont think youre a troll. Different people's mental health displays in different ways and just because there is a label for something doesnt mean every person with that label is the same. Good luck op

Thanks elsabel. I do feel guilty and I wish my dh would leave and find someone normal but he says he loves me and he wouldn't leave if I was in a wheelchair and he won't leave because of this. I love him to pieces and would give almost anything to be normal it's all I've ever wanted.

crawling I too used to get hyper sexual/prone to risk taking whilst hypomanic. (and am surprised at people questioning is this a known symptom - google it _ plus it is often portrayed that way/alluded to in popular culture, Jean and Stacey Slater and the media - various celebs)

However, I think the key is as others have said, if your dh agreed to this then you need to clarify that agreement so you know exactly what the boundaries are. would you be satisfied with no video?

Also I find in general, regular sleep, and lots and lots of exercise really help with both symptoms and relapse. keep going back and back again to GP/psych if you don't feel your meds are getting sorted.
Hope you condition improves.

dahlen is BPII more fashionable? I generally think people think that BP1 is more interesting because of the manic episodes. BP2 may be more able to function creatively so may be more likely to be celebs. but I also think there is a wide spread misconception, which I used to share, that BP2 is means less bipolar than 1, which is totally not the case. BP2 is actually often more resistant to treatment and more likely to result in death. (my understanding is 1= more tendency to mania/psychotic episodes 2= hypomania and a greater tendency to major depressive episodes- but hypomania can also include hyper sexuality)

Mutual masturbation over the phone. No video, photo's or text. Safety at home. If you don't like the conversation or the person. Put the phone down and block.

Autochorisexuals (on the asexual spectrum) are prone to this kind of interaction.