It's not me, it's you.

[Insanityismymiddlename]

I'm at the end of my tether with DP, I have PND and am getting help as all of it is directed at DP and at times I hate him.

But last night I had a revelation it's not all me and he is to blame for some of it.

I am sick of everytime I get cross he blames my PND, well no you know what its not sometimes its because he is actually an arse.

Last night for example he agreed to get up with DD so I can sleep, DD wakes up and instead of just feeding/winding/changing it turned into a complete clusterfuck.
First he didn't make the bottle up properly and brought up a half made bottle - ok fine I point it out and he corrects it, then only gives her 2oz (she normally has 5 but has to burp after every 2) literally strokes her back for 10 seconds and puts her in the cot, of course DD not happy with this and screams wanting more food, so I ask DP what the point in him saying he will look after her if he doesn't do what he knows he should.

Apparently I am a nasty piece of work and the sooner my PND is fixed the better - no I really weren't the problem this time, he then stomps downstairs to sleep in sofa leaving me to deal with DD, then get up with other DCs and get them to school by myself.

So I just want to rant and say its definitely him not me who is causing arguments.

Holy crap!
He really is an absolute waste of fucking skin.
Be glad he's gone and do not take him back unless he is willing to pitch in properly.
Blimey - he could have taken DD to his mums and let you attend the funeral - selfish selfish arsehole!
But honestly - you may find you are much calmer once he has gone for a few days.
Only time will tell.
[[[[HUGS]]]] for you at this horrible time!

If his mother and father have got an ounce of sense, they'll tell him to FTFO and face up to his responsibilities.

I too wonder whether your depression isn't chemical, but partner-induced.

Leavenheath have to laugh or I'll cry but DP walked in just after I read your post MIL has told him to man up and stop acting so childish and he isn't allowed to stay there for such a stupid reason as DD is his daughter and he must face his responsibility.

Not sure where to go from here he has apologised but as soon as I asked him if he would take her so I can shower he made an excuse and left me to it.

Give her to him and go and have your shower. He hasn't bonded with her has he? He needs mire time with her imo.

Don't ASK him.
Hand her over and TELL him you are going for a shower.
Do NOT put up with him shirking his responsibilities.
Really glad him mum has some good sense but you could have done with a bit of space.
Hand him DD with what time she needs feeding and leave and go for a walk to clear your head.
If necessary have a chat with him mum and ask her nicely to just have him there for a couple of days to give you a bit of space.
I really hope this all works out for you.

This place creases me up sometimes. Hells - at 1040 this very AM you advised her to tell him to go. He thus went. at 1445 the man is clearly a shit for going. The poor bloke wont know whether he is coming or going. He cannot do good for doing wrong.

OP - new parenting is hard, tiring and stressful. More marriages fall apart at this time than at any other. Did you know that the most effective torture technique is sleep deprivation? Neither of you are thinking straight. Now is the time to reach out to MIL / DM or anyone and both get time to talk, relax and catch up on a few hours. Both of you will be more human. The baby belongs to you both. It is not about help as someone up thread said. You are a team. Bit like tag team mexican wrestling - without the face masks. it is ok to depend on each other and also you do need to trust that the other parent wont put them in the washing machine by mistake.

Talk. Dont LTB as some will project onto you (and this place has more projectors than a multplex odeon) - he wants to engage - he needs you to let him fail and learn.