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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

what should I do about my ex?

5 replies

Smoorikins · 04/10/2013 08:06

I left him two years ago, and we have teenage children together. He lives in the house we own, I pay the mortgage on it (for reasons which will become clear).

He always blamed me for the fact we have no money. Since I left despite having to furnish a rental property, paying rent and a (admittedly small) mortgage, I have managed to build up a reasonable amount of savings.

He, on the other hand, has given up work and accrued a significant amount of debt. He now has no telephone line as he didn't pay it, and may well have his electricity cut off soon. He says 'something will happen' and does nothing, expecting life to come to him.

I plan to pay off the remaining mortgage with my savings, as one of his creditors is the same as our mortgage company and they have a clause that could cause us problems.

But what do I do about him? I'm not going to try and sort out his situation. I don't have the time for one thing, and I spent a good few years sorting out issues of his making. But should I get in touch with his sister, who lives a long way away, and is full of her own ideas of how life should be? Are there any agencies out there that help single people with no diagnosed issues? The kids are worried about him and I don't want to do nothing.

OP posts:
Whocansay · 04/10/2013 08:17

I would re post this in legal. You need to safeguard yourself and your children.

wheredidiputit · 04/10/2013 08:24

Where are the children living.

If with you why are still paying for him. Get legal advice, sell the house and look after you and your children you owe him nothing.

If he can't be bothered to work or have somewhere to live thats his problem he's an adult.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/10/2013 08:30

I think you definitely need legal advice. Are you married to this man?

Smoorikins · 04/10/2013 09:11

The kids are with me, not married to him.

I've had legal advice re selling the house, that's not the issue here. The issue is his physical/mental state. My kids are worried about him, and I was wondering if I should/could get anyone involved that could help.

I know he's not my responsibility, but his sister wont have any idea of how he is doing. She lives a long distance away. He has no income at all. No benefits, nothing.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/10/2013 09:15

You can always ask his GP to pay a house-call and do a physical/mental health assessment.

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