Looking for a little support...
I broke-up with my boyfriend of 5+ years about 1 1/2 years ago, it was the best decision but it still stings. I felt I had no choice but to end things as he stopped trying, he was being possessive, spending more time working out his friends relationship problems than talking to me about ours, and his ADHD was driving me insane but he refused to acknowledge how badly it was effecting our relationship (I had to go on antidepressants to cope with being with him, which was the final straw). He refuses to acknowledge why we broke up or how much it hurt me, and despite the fact I left him I feel like I was the one who was rejected. My ex and I remain friends.
He has a new girlfriend and I am a little jealous due to continuing feelings of having been rejected by him, and I assume it's semi-normal to want to be the one your ex regrets loosing. His new girlfriend is a doctor which makes me feel like scum as I'm long-term unemployed, but especially I'm jealous as I think our friends like her more...
I'm autistic and long-term unemployed...as a result my social skills have suffered greatly and I've not been able to afford to go out socialising with friends - I only get to see one or two friends and that's only every four to six months (also normally just for coffee as I can't afford to do anything else), in fact I barely get to see other people. Before I lost my job my friends and I would go out nightclubbing together all the time, my autism was never a problem but over time with so little social contact with my friends it became a whole different story. When I have seen my other friends I've struggled to socialise...despite them doing nothing to keep in touch with me, they blame me for struggling socially and so we're basically now no longer friends. My best friend apparently caught others in our friends group talking about me (comparing me to the ex's new woman) at a house party a few months ago, a house party I wasn't invited to - they were apparently saying that I was difficult to talk to, as my best friend pointed out communication is a two-way street, also if they hadn't basically forgotten about me I'd not be facing the problems I am now with my social skills...
My ex is still friends with all our friends as he works with them, and as he works he can afford to go out socialising - that includes going out with his new girlfriend, who is more socially capable than I am and thus seems more social and fun than me by comparison right now. As my friends didn't see me much before my ex and I broke-up they had no idea how unhappy I was with my ex, and only have his side of the story - which includes him telling them that I left him to get with my current partner. My ex also now has a new life with all sorts of new friends, so his life without me is obviously better too. So my ex and my friends both now like my ex's new girlfriend more than me...and my ex has a better life without me so likely sees his time with me in a negative light.
On the plus side I have a wonderful fiance, but then the problem is that my fiance and step-kids live over 5000 miles away, I'm going to be immigrating to live with them so I've an amazing new life waiting for me with a man I love more than I've loved anyone ever before, and two great step-kids. BUT right now it feels like everyone in my old life have rejected me in favour of this new woman, the fact that my ex is better off without me makes me feel worthless, and I'm really lonely with no friends. I am happy about being with my fiance but I'm in a horrible state of limbo with no friends and waiting for my new life to start, being alone all the time makes me depressed and I think too much.
How do I stop myself getting depressed about this?