anonandsad, is there anyone you can talk to in RL?
Of course you are conflicted about going to the funeral and personally I wouldn´t go. There is no way I could go and I have been through something similar.
Do you have a good friend you could call, you are going to need support through this. You may find that the death of this excuse for a human, is the catalyst to a lot of different emotions. Its hard to explain but I know I went through anger (that the bastard had got away with it), joy (that the bastard was dead), guilt (for not doing anything to stop it) and a load more. The only thing that helped me was to talk about it. By talking I was able to see it not as a secret I had to keep, nothing I was or had any reason to be ashmed of. It was painful, soul distroying at some points. But it closed the door on that part of my life and let me grieve not for the death of my abuser, but for myself and for the person that they should have been to me.
Do what feels right in your gut and heart, is the only advice I can give you, and remember that there are people you can talk to and people that will help you "accept and deal with what was done to you"
Remember at all times you are a wonderful person and someone did a terrible horrific thing to you, that does not make you a terrible person it makes you a victim of abuse. However you feel is the right emotion, people may not understand but that is their problem NOT yours. Do NOT go the funeral if you don´t want to, or it will just be another incident of suffer your soul has to take because of this "man"
Have a hug, a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on from me