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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Could EA be a result of DH's depression

28 replies

Confusedandfeelingalone · 01/10/2013 14:32

Long-time lurker needing advice as to how to handle DH's EA-sorry that it is so long. DH has been depressed for the last 4 years after nearly dying in a road accident but he would never seek any help. DH started EA with former colleague in March but made no real attempt to hide change in behaviour apart from deleting texts. Lots of emails telling her how wonderful she was and how she was the only one who understood him etc. All came to a head in June when I confronted him and he said he wanted to leave. He agreed to wait until after DS's exams and in that time he did keep changing his mind about trying again with me although he was still in daily contact with OW. He left for 10 days in July but I asked him to reconsider for sake of 3 DC who would be devastated. He came back and he wants to try again but doesn't want to talk about EA & says he doesn't know if he loves me. Went to GP's and is on AD's though they don't seem to be having much effect. After several false starts has been NC with OW for last month despite her best efforts. Feeling like all the effort is coming from me at the moment but don't want to give up if marriage can be saved.Am I wasting my time ?

OP posts:
Confusedandfeelingalone · 05/10/2013 15:23

But at the moment it's the only thing I feel up to doing.

OP posts:
FrancescaBell · 05/10/2013 17:00

Oh well. I'm very sorry to see this decision and hope you and the children don't suffer for it. Good luck.

cjel · 05/10/2013 18:48

You will only go round in circles now,\ you won't change yourself while he is still there. Just be very aware of when you are getting run down or putting your needs behind his. it really won't help your dcs to live like this. I wish you well.

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