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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He won't accept that it's over

5 replies

Applez · 30/09/2013 22:28

I am feeling very low tonight, my husband and I are separating but he just won't accept that it's over. I am finding it so hard to stay strong but know without a shadow of a doubt that its over and there is no going back (history of verbal & emotional abuse). Help me to think positive, tell me some happy endings stories, anything to keep me going.

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Beccaloolah · 30/09/2013 22:54

Hi - stay as strong as you can. It is very hard especially with emotional abusive people. He will make you feel you are making the wrong decision, I'm sure, and will try and guilt you into staying. He may even try and be charming/kind and helpful (mine tried that one - it made me question the abuse all over again).

I went to counselling to deal with infidelities but actually ended up talking more about the emotional abuse. I called him a bully for the first time and cried like I've not cried for years as admitting it was so horrific. I knew I could never call him that to his face as he would never accept it.

It took a month or so of regular talking each evening. Sometimes, I would think I'd said it was over but would go to bed exhausted somehow having agreed to try again - it was his way of manipulating the conversation etc. I would wake up in the morning dreading having the same conversation again.

He won't believe that you are leaving him because he cannot accept he no longer has control over you anymore - emotionallly and mentally. You've done one of the hardest things already by telling yourself you deserve better and having the strength to tell him that.

He will need time for it to sink in because like I said he cannot accept that you've done it. Unfortunately you have to stick to your guns and keep saying it.

Have you told your family? I gained an enormous amount of strength from telling close friends and family and was stunned when people agreed they had witnessed the abuse. It actually made me feel stronger. And telling him that I was talking to my parents/close friends that we were splitting up made it more real for him too.

I started discussing the plan of action - and ultimately took control - would we sell the house? How many estate agents shall I get round, then each evening would tell him what I'd done to get one step closer to what we needed.

At every step, I asked him to come to counselling too suggesting it would help him come to terms with the end of the relationship - he refused.

I knew I was doing the right thing for me and my son - I didn't want my son learning about relationships from what he could see at home (not rows per se but the controlling/emotional abuse I just assumed was normal).

BUT, I did it, I'm out of that relationship. Three nights ago I moved into my flat with my son. I'm currently sleeping on the floor. I have little furniture as he took it all. I bought myself the sofa I have always wanted but wasn't allowed - silly I know but he always put down my taste in things. And it's like an 'up yours' to him that I've now got it.

And if you've read my other posts, you'll know I have an enormous mountain to climb with low self-esteem and lack confidence and stupidly becoming fixated on another man who I thought was boosting my self esteem but really was/is just draining it in another way. I need a lot of help to love/like me again.

But I know without a shadow of a doubt that I did the right thing and persevered to get out of an utterly toxic relationship. I have a key to my own home, I can move on and I will. I do not miss him at all.

I wish you all the best. It will get better, I promise. Despite the other issues I have to deal with. I know I am on the path to being a lot happier than I've been for a very long time.

You've started on the journey I started five months ago. You can do it, my lovely.

Applez · 30/09/2013 23:12

Thank you so much Beccalolah, you don't know how much your kind words have helped me tonight. I too sometimes feel like I'm going mad. So much of what you said applies to my relationship. He freaked out when I told my family and friends, I finally stopped trying to protect him, but I was surprised by how many many people saw through all my covers ups, and didn't really like him and I got a lot of "I always thought you were so different". You are so brave to have taken that big step, you are a hero and a role model to your son, so many people say " stay together for the sake of the children" which is so wrong, it's because if the children that we have to leave, to show them that mummy should be treated like a queen, not disrespected and criticised. Good luck on your adventure, I believe true happiness awaits us!

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tallwivglasses · 30/09/2013 23:32

Detach and disengage. Basically all he wants to hear from you is 'I'm sorry, I've changed my mind, take me back, etc.'

You're not going to say that so no point in talking to him.

Anniegetyourgun · 01/10/2013 08:42

He won't accept it because it's not in his interests to accept it. If he keeps being obstructive, the hope is that you'll give up and get back into the box. The wonderful news, though, is that he doesn't have to accept it. You're out of there regardless.

He can keep saying you're doing the wrong thing, he can use that dreadful manipulative phrase "breaking up the family" until the cows come home; it won't make it true. A family is not an entity in itself but the sum of the people within it. A family unit that relies on one member being belittled and crushed to keep the others happy is like a society based on slave labour - outwardly functional, but ultimately rotten to the core.

Been there with the "I never liked him anyway" and "what took you so long" as well. Not that other people's opinions are as important as yours, because you're the one who had to live with it, but a bit of validation is nice.

Applez · 02/10/2013 21:31

Thank you folks, I was having a really bad night, but one word that I keep hearing and I keep telling myself is detach, it's horrible feeling so stuck and it just gets me down. I've taken another little step this week, baby steps are the way to go I think it's so scary, thank you to your replies again xx

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