Really?

[ilovemylittlestars]

Posted on here a few times and your words are always helpful. I am divorcing my husband, not a decision I made lightly, thought about it for a long time and gave it many chances but nothing improved so I made up my mind. Now, I have left the home, am living with relatives with the dcs while he is on his own in the home. The house is in his name only and he has a financial agreement in place over the house(I was not aware of) with a family member, it's becoming quite clear they own the home and I have no say, there appears to be little chance of me returning to live there with dcs. I have just been advised that because of the high divorce rate that agreements like this are not unusual really? Do people really go into marriage making provisions like this?? I certainly didn't and now being homeless with three dcs seems like a possibility:( I know it was me that ended it but I never expected to, obviously this eventuality occurred to him and he has protected himself accordingly. Is this really normal?? Really??:(

I think you need to consult a solicitor. I don't think a judge would look kindly upon what he's done, but you need to find out the details to see if his 'arrangement' is watertight.

Solicitor is looking into the agreement,it's all official and signed etc. I am being told that the children's needs take priority and that they need a roof over their head. The agreement was a loan and I was not told the full amount involved neither was my name out on the house, at the time I was obviously naive and trusted him - more fool me I just didn't think people did this sort of thing - it's like we never had a chance anyway

What a total shit

I guess all you can do is get yourself a solicitor and fight your corner.

That's my current plan and I am doing it for the children, if it were just me I would run. I am just trying to comprehend what's been done and why:( I have used that word rather a lot recently - shit - very apt

Marital assets are marital assets and belong equally to both of you. Joint loans are joint loans and the same applies. If you signed off on this financial agreement, even if the amount was woolly, then it's a joint loan. But if this financial agreement is essentially a personal loan that you have not signed or agreed to, then it is his personal liability... the same as if he had a personal credit card balance.

So I hope your solicitor concludes that this financial arrangement is his personal liability and that it should come out of his share of the house proceeds.

BTW It happens when someone thinks they have carte blanche to organise the family finances for their benefit. When they see family money as 'mine' to do with as they please, in secret if necessary, and not 'ours' where there should be openness or consultation. Selfish, arrogant men who think women are irrelevant tend to do this kind of thing.

He always referred to the house as his and his money as his,we had nothing joint,now I realise why. Whatever happens all this money will find its way back to him,he will never be short,just cause it's all official and documented at the end if the day it's family and they don't need the money. I am just disappointed and feel very naive but live and learn - the hard way in this case

Even if you emerge without so much as a penny from this, you will always have your integrity and your freedom. He, no matter how much cash he has around him and how clever he thinks he is, will always be a shit.