Finally ended it - feeling so sad...

[Cornishpasty2]

Have just ended my 3 and a half year relationship. I wanted to end it, it wasn't working, why do I feel so bloody sad?

Hugs for you. Hope you feel better soon xx

It's still a loss even if it wasn't working. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to recover.

Thank you, I know I'll feel better in time. People tend to think that the one that ends a relationship is running around shouting "yay, rid of him at last" but I did love him very much, and still do. We simply had too many differences, too many problems. We couldn't make each other happy, so sad.

During much of your time together you would have held private dreams of being together, maybe forever. And you would have been making some kind of plans for your future. When a relationship ends you have to walk away from all of those hopes and dreams and promises. And, yes, that is always sad.

So feel OK about grieving the loss of your dreams (and shared dreams), and know that your sadness will soften as time passes.

Me too; its hard to lose someone from your life and accept that the future you had imagined is not going to happen. For me I feel that at least the future I want is possible now even if it is unknown and uncertain (plus my ex was majorly anoying so am enjoying the peace . Big hugs xx

We did yes, and those dreams are gone now. I want him to beg me to change my mind, but I know from previous times we have broken up (a few) that he digs his heels in and says "stuff you, I dont care", always me who makes the first move to get back together. I suppose the problem was just that, he simply didnt love me enough to give me what I needed in the relationship. Which is why I've been forced for my own sanity to finish it for good.

awww no wonder you feel sad if he made you feel like that. Some men are just switched off, you will probably find he is like that in all his relationships, not just you. You deserve to be in a relationship with somebody who makes you feel special and loved (we all do) go and find someone worthy and capable of showing love x

And

And to you Farovertherainbow, just read your thread. Seems we are both experiencing the same thing right now. May we both feel better soon. x

OP, I would think he does care, but is stubborn about showing his emotions and so gives it the, "stuff you I don't care" line. Not a good thing perhaps, but it's a defensive tactic; he probably cries later alone.

Maybe he does, but where does that get us? Last time we broke up, I ended up contacting him after 3 months cause I still missed him so much, it didnt get any easier, and I really did try so hard. He was over the moon to hear from me, jumped at the chance to get back on track. Said he was going to contact me after 6 months?? What's that all about? Why be so stubborn that you keep away from someone you love all that time?? Life's too short for that amount of stubborn-ness surely?

I agree with you Cornish, I wasn't suggesting his behaviour was reasonable in any way. Most people would give everything to be with the one they love.

And that's the sort of person I deserve and hope to find Mademan! Every person who has a lot to give deserves that. (Having a positive moment, lol)