My Mum is here - support in advance!

[susanmt]

Those of you who have read my posts on 'women who leave their children' as well as on OND issues, will know that my relationship with my Mum isn' the best - she left my family when I was 12 and since then things have been a bit up and down, to say the least. At the moment I am going through a course of psychotherapy with my psychiatrist to try and sort my head out, (PND) and so far it is going well. But to complicate things MUm arrived today to stay until Sat (long planned, counldn't put her off) and although things have been OK this evening I'm worried about how it is going to be over the next few days. And when you are worried, where do you turn, but Mumsnet, of course.
I know it will be fine, I just need somewhere to check in over the next few days and let off steam!

Me too, Susan, mine arrives next week for a few days. Arhggggg!
Will she talk it over with you? (Mine won't).
Best of luck.

Good luck Susanmt.
Can you put her to good use ? - get her to look after the kids while you get some time to yourself for a haircut or a massage or to visit friends.
Is she a good cook? Get her to fill the freezer......handy with a paintbrush?
If all else fails come and sound off to your mumsnet pals.

She'll talk about me having POST NATAL depression as as far as she can think about it she has nothing to do with that.
About her leaving?? Not on your life. She'll never talk about that! She's spending most of her time so far moaning about my Gran, which is about par for the course!

Solidarity from here. Good luck, honey!

One day down, 4 to go, BREATHE...give yourself a secret treat each day, your own private star chart...do impressions of her in your head...and plan something fabulous for Sat night?

My mum also refuses to talk about her leaving, susanmt.

She totally cleaned the lounge today, looked after children and was basically brilliant. I just feel so uncomfortable having her around, on edge. Tonight at the tea table we had to put up with her opinions on the mistakes my uncle (her brother) made when he split up with HIS wife leaving his two sons behind. But nothing about us, much to my releif!

Hang on in there.

I think if my mum came to stay for that long - or any length of time at all, actually - I would start gibbering and chewing the curtains. I do feel for you.

Oh Susanmt, I really feel for you at the moment. I know when I was having treatment I had to confront my Mum about why she left. The amounts of times that I nearly rang her up to arrange to meet but I couldn't do it. I just kept on breaking down. Everyweek I would go to the physchiatrist and she would ask whether I had spoke to my Mum. It was the hardest and most upsetting day of my life when I finally rang her up and said we had to meet and talk about why she left. (Oh God, I'm crying now).

But when we did talk it was like a very big weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Afterwards, I no longer felt that I was the reason my mum left. I never forgave her, just understood her and appreciated how very hard it must have been for her.

I know that your Mum may not want to talk about it but eventually she has to realise that the reason you are very ill is because of her. Deep down, she probably feels that way but is trying to brush it aside.