I think she should let it go...but am I right?

[BonaDrag]

My friend told me she hasn't spoken to her DP in a week because she found out, through his old flatmate, that he had considered standing her up on their first date (they met online).

Ok so it's a bit shitty but I think it's so trivial that it's not worth fighting over. She says he must be a prick deep down and feels hurt every time she thinks of it.

But he didn't know her then!

And anyway, he did turn up so it's a non issue IMHO.

Is she right? I don't know as I have shit luck with relationships so maybe not best placed to know.

Is it really just about that?! She is being ridiculous.

You are right, OP. She should let it go. He had doubts before he met her, then he met her, then ta-daa, he got into a relationship with someone really anxious and insecure

Ok thank you. That's what I thought.

I don't think there's more to it, I just think she is massively overreacting. I told her she can't mess about like this as he'll walk. They've only been together less than a year.

I'd wonder if there was something she's not telling you as well. No-one fights over something like that unless they're either incredibly insecure or there's something else going wrong that makes her thinks he's a 'prick deep down'. How long is it since they met?

He was in two minds about her and it sound like he jumped the wrong way! Moral of the story folks.... trust your instincts.

Maybe she's felt like he wasn't that into her? If there were any feelings like that on her part then maybe it compounded it all for her. have you asked her?

I didn't probe much further because there were other people with us but she is pretty insecure generally. (Facebooking his exes to torment herself etc). He seems like a good bloke, friendly, down to earth. It's just that she was adamant it was a dreadful thing and I was trying to convince her otherwise!

You're right, OP, she really needs to let that go! My DP told me, on our first date that I looked better in photos (we met online)! I was very upset but got over it.

There must be more to it, she can't hold onto that as it really is a non-issue. Seems she is very insecure in her relationship overall!

Oh goodness Hairy! I can see how that would upset you but maybe he was nervous and just blurted it!

(Speaking as someone with terrible foot in mouth when under pressure.)

My friend is lovely, she really is. Was amazing when I was in the shit and I care about her but she has low self esteem and is quite fragile. Never feels attractive enough. Her DP used to go out with a stunning woman (again, FB) and she has tormented herself thinking he must compare her unfavourably. I don't think most normal men would do that tbh.

Anyway, I don't want her to fuck this one up but I may suggest she has counselling to try and deal with her lack of self esteem.