I can't stand ex's g/f

[sheepgomeep]

I am back for a whinge again!

My ex left me 2 and a half years ago for a 16 year old. He was 27. He put me and the kids through a lot and acted like a right tw*t to me.. I have moved on and I'm with my dp now who I've been with for nearly a year.

He is still with her and I know I love my new dp very much and I have no feelings for ex whatsover, except maybe the odd pang of well I don't know. We were together for 10 years.

My problem is that I still cannot stand his gf. She is now 19 and has no kids of her own. To top it all she is everything I'm not, very pretty, young, bubbly etc. She is good with the kids but almost too good iyswim. She is also quite sly and has in the past given me prank phonecalls and trys to play the kids of against me.

My ex and her look down on my dp and I saying that we don't do a good enough job in bringing up the kids. I feel that in thier eyes we are nasty and low down, they are very snobby to us in thier attitude, I resent the fact that he has a kid free week and gets to go abroad to Kos (he never once took me abroad), to oasis concerts etc etc and when we and dp want to go away we are met with no sorry we can't have the kids because there is no room in the house (they both live with her mum and sis).

What makes it worse, is that I still own my house with him (trying desperately to sell, contracts yet to be exchanged) and he got me into loads of debt with the mortgage, he blamed me for this even though he was the one that suddenly stopped paying it leaving me to struggle on my p/t job (dp helps me as much as he can)but we are in arrears
I had a massive argument with ex to day, he called me a shit mother because the kids don't want to come home after they see him. me and dp have had a few problems together including dp adjusting to my kids which we are sorting now which ex dosen't seem to understand. He also told me that his g/f was worth 10 of me and she is everything that I should have been but failed to be in our relationship and called me jealous!.His g/f has told my kids to tell me that she loves them more than me and that is exactly what my dd has been saying which has upset me a great deal..

I am also so bitter because ex has forced me to sell and me and dp and kids will end up in b and b while the council try and rehouse us.

I just feel so angry and full of hatred towards them both which isn't good I know. I worry that dp will go of me with a girl like dp g/f even though he tells me i'm being stupid. I feel fat ugly and useless every time I have to see her.. I know I played right into thier hands today over that argument but I couldn't help it.

I don't know how to play this really, do I show I'm not bothered by all this. How can I be the better person when ex and g/f believe that me and dp are lowlives anyway. I'm also really scared that they will turn the kids against me.

He sounds like a twat.How you could be jealous of a man who has abandoned his kids and lives with his teenage girlfriend's family is beyond me.
Feel sorry for him.If it makes you feel better,laugh at him about it.

ASs someone said on MN.Don't fret about what people think of you.What do you think of them??
Great advice I thought.

Your children won't turn against yuo.You are their mother and nothing will change that.

XX

ta moondog.

What do I really think of them?

Hmmm I think he's a very sad person really, its just his and her high and mighty attitude that gets me and the fact she is stunning really (dp calls her the bimbo bitch ha!)

He lost all of his friends including his best mate over what he did to me and the kids and they all think he's a sad loser. ( I still keep in touch with a few of them) the g/f and ex and most of his mates all used to work together anyway so it was a lovely scandal!

you are right. thanks x

What does it matter what they think of you???
He's an arse,and whatsmore,feel sorry for her.
She should be enjoying a carefree youth,not be being saddled with an idiot who has abandoned his responsibilities.

Let it go.
Really.

XX

Message withdrawn

dont let him put you down or make you feel like shit i wounder what the bimbo will look like her self after 2 pregnancies!!! your x will proberbly leave her for some one else then!!

dont let them belittle you lets face it getting together with a 16y old.....its on the border really isnt it

my mom has a saying "im not out there to win popularity or votes im out there for my children" who gives a fuck what they think of you and your dp, you are raising 2 children and in a happy relationship you live under your own roof where does he live hmmmm i wounder???? who is the responsable,safe trusting ones now!!

ok

I'll try
x

I do have to speak to my ex unfortunately rickman as we are selling the house and we need a lot of communication, The sale isn't going well and we think the buyer will drop out otherwise I wouldn't speak to him at all except by text.

My mum and dp think I should do everything through a solicitor but thats quite difficult. Its a good idea of yours to get someone else to do the handover, I might ask dp, ex is scared of him he's twice his size lol.

redbull it is on the border isn't it thats another thing I hated about all of this. She is adamnt she wants no kids of her own and he dosen't either, I hope they do then she'll realize what its like

She can't be all that at 19 if she is having to have a relationship with a 30 year old man who doesn't even have a place to call his own that he can let his children come to. How pathetic is he??!!

Poor girl you have to pity her thinking she is so clever when she should be out there having the time of her life shagging young virile attractive guys in their early twenties not some nearly middle aged man (-:

In 5 years she is only going to be mid twenties do you think she is going to put up with some wrinkling miserable (hopefully balding) old git then?

btw... in my experience of my Nephews, they love going to their Dad's because there are no rules there (there Dad's are all alcohol obsessed etc and often palm them off on their Nans) so when they come back to a house where there is discipline they have to test the boundries again, its like having 3 toddlers around even though they are older... Your kids will see in time that you give them rules because you love them and want them to turn out as well rounded individuals.

The process is hard, I know, but just make sure you are consistant with them. It sounds asthough you ex will never be that.

Oh it's great that your dp is bigger than him.
I bet he feels sooooo inadequate (combined with living at his girlfriend's mother's lol)

Err.. my post was with regards to the comments your children have been making. Incase you thought I'd posted on the wrong topic

OK this may sound a bit barmy but when you are replaying the things he has said to oyu in your head try to make it in the voice of your favourite comic character! I always do Vicky pollard or Catherine tate. Then speed up the voice saying the same things and then slow it down. It always makes me laugh at what ahs been said to me even though I am cross at the time. It also makes what is said sound really really silly which of course it is!

I mean how would Vicky talk if she was your ex with a teenage girlfriend and living with her mother and sister? Making me laugh already!

'In 5 years she is only going to be mid twenties do you think she is going to put up with some wrinkling miserable (hopefully balding) old git then? '

pmsl he's definetely going bald and grey too har har. Apparantly she goes clubbing on her own with a mate and has been seen on a stage poledancing. hmmm.

Moodog, ex is 5 foot 5 and thin as arake, dp is nearly six foot and quite muscly. ex looks like a (poison) dwarf next to him.

Kathlean I never thought about the kids testing the boundaries

Oh God,she'll be off soon.He'll bore her.
Sheep,form where I'm standing,you're the one that comes out the winner!!!!

oops i meant xavielli not kathlean!

glitter fairy, I'm going to try that!

Next time he kicks off,say nothing but just stand and listen with your arms folded and a slight smirk on your face.
Nod occasionally when he makes a point.
It wuill infuriate him!!

If she ever does decide she wants to settle down, she won't do it with him. How can she trust someone who left a partner with children for a bit of fluff.... What comes around goes around....

says it all really doesnt it what kind of mother would let her 16 year olds boyfriend move in who is nearly 10 years her seniour???

i like glitterfairys idea the power of the mind!!

i agree with what people are saying maybe you should think of onlt speacking through a soliciter, if they are really bad doing mind games with the kids then maybe you should stop them going round their meet somewhere else with out her their.

how old are your children sheep??

exactly xavielli. I think alsoshe'll get a rude awakening when and if the house sells, they get a place of thier own and she has to do stuff for him seeing as they both work full time and he works shift plus play stepmum to the kids at weekends..

Moondog he hates it when I say whatever over and over again to him. He put the phone down on me before when I kept saying that

kids are 6 and 3 Red bull. To be honest I was tempted to stop him from seeing them with her but I need him to have them while I work.. esp all day on a sunday.

dp works nights as well so he can't have them on sundays. He does have them on a sat night and a mon night for me though before he goes to work

What a sad, infantile little man.

You're better off without him. Just keep thinking that while he tried to wind you up. Ignore the dim gf....she won't be on the scene for long.....