Help me improve my relationship with my sister.

[FrameyMcFrame]

I have a sister, she is quite driven and ambitious and successful and I'm not like that.
Our relationship is often strained and I think it's my fault. I wish we could be good friends and share stuff like other sisters do but it never seems to work that way.
For example, today we had arranged that I would go up and visit her, she lives 30 mins away. We arrived and she was not in... She had left the door open so we went in and waited. Eventually she came home 20 minutes later but by then all my enthusiasm for catching up and having a good chat had gone and I just felt slightly hurt that she wasn't there to meet us.
So then I think my manner becomes a bit unpleasant, and things are strained again.

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

Why does her being ambitious and successful matter? Are you jealous? And why do you think sisters should share stuff? It was rather rude of her to let you drive half an hour and not even leave a note or send you a text to say she had to pop out (presumably it was something important?) I'd suggest you treat her the way you would anyone else and take her as you find her rather than laying on any big expectations of how she should behave just because you share a few genes. If you don't get on, you don't get on.

Yes perhaps I am jealous. I really want to get to the bottom of my feelings about it and understand why I get so grumpy with her.
The reason I'd like us to have a good relationship is that both our brothers died and our Dad died. Our Mum is old too so soon she will be the only family I have left.
That's putting pressure on things already!

Chances are you're grumpy because she's not fitting your expectations. As ever, you have to love people for who they are, and not who you'd like them to be.

Yes probably. Perhaps there are practical things I could do to improve things though.

I don't think so. If your aim is to love your sister for who she is, the same applies the other way. Doing practical things suggests changing yourself to be more accommodating. Like the pressure of too-high expectations, if you feel like you're making a big effort and nothing improves it'll lead to resentment. Be yourself therefore and be as hospitable as you would with anyone else. No special treatment. It either happens or it doesn't...