How long to wait?

[Saturdaysunshine123]

I live with my partner, have been together for 3yrs now. He's not a great talker but I feel loved and he's shown he's committed to me. I feel like it's time to talk marriage and I want a traditional proposal and wedding (yes I might be mad) but how do I get him to do that if he's happy trundling along in our perfectly happy little life? Order a Tiffany catalogue and leave it on the table with my ring size on a post it?! Something more subtle? We are happy together and I think he's settled into a mindset of this is great, nothing needs changing. I on the other hand just want that next step of formalizing things, I like the tradition, the romance, it's what I want for us as a family unit. Am I selfish? How do I tell him without it becoming a Big Issue?

Ask him?

I agree about taking the initiative. You're unlikely to get a traditional proposal from him if he never speaks, isn't romantic and is a bit slow on the uptake.

I think you need to be realistic about who it is you want to marry - - wanting him to sort it all by himself, go off and get you a ring, and get down on one knee to pop the question to a surprised you is perhaps wanting him to be someone other than he is!

Talk to him about it - perhaps give up on the perfect proposal (which would require him to take the initiative, which he won't) and then have your dreamy wedding when you are able to take the initiative!

I think you're right. He's happy enough to go along with things so maybe I need to do the legwork here. I just had it in my head it would be lovely for him to be the one to ask.

He's commented several times on where he'd like to get married. I'll just get the wedding planning info from them and sit him home and talk practically rather than romantically. He's not at all dreamy and romantic when it comes to dates or flowers. But he does stroke my hair til I fall asleep, give me multiples and not expect anything in return, pick up pizza when I'm hormonal, hold my hand even if we are just going round the supermarket. So in his own way I guess he does make me feel loved and special so I don't need him to propose to make our relationship even better. In a way I'm kind of excited to take charge and get this done. He wants marriage as do I. Looking back it does seem silly to wait and wait for him to propose when it really isn't his personality to think that way. Ooh now I have some thinking/planning to do!!! Thanks for helping me see sense. It's easy to tie yourself up in knots over stuff like this.