Recently I've been feeling horribly lonely, probably more so when I'm with friends than actually on my own! I just don't know what to do about it, I'm just having a moan I think really, but I've just come in from a particularly bad night.
There's a group (around 20) of us, who all socialise together sometimes as the whole group, but more commonly in sort of 5-10, or just two or three girls out for coffee type thing. I've always really enjoyed it, I get on well with everybody and thought I was lucky to have such a good group of friends, but with enough people that you weren't always on top of each other IYSWIM.
There were always a few couples in the group, and people's boyfriends/girlfriends tend to be amalgamated in, but suddenly everybody except me seems to have paired up! Admittedly, I'm one of the youngest in the group, but one couple's just become engaged, another have just moved in together and a third are looking for a house together. I'm really happy for them all, but when I'm out with them now I feel like I don't fit in to this 'happy couples' picture.
It's silly little things that upset me, like couples sitting holding hands, or talking about visits they've done together , just being so comfortable and intimate with each other in a way I can't be with anybody. Tonight there were fourteen of us out, six couples, me and one man in a long-distance relationship who was telling me about his girlfriend's visit up last weekend.
I'm not jealous exactly, but I feel like they're all moving on and I've been left behind. And afterwards I feel ridiculous, there's no need for me to rush into a relationship because everybody else is in one and I'm feeling left out. But when they all go off home together holding hands, I can't help but feel a bit upset and like I'm missing out.
Sorry it's so long and garbled I may have had a couple of drinks.