Angry for dh and the guilt trips

[WinkyWinkola]

Dh's parents always put the guilts on him.

It incenses me and makes them want to call them up and tell them where to get off.

Their constant claiming of victim status really gets on my nerves.

They visited us one weekend. We were very hospitable as usual.

The next weekend we were in their and my mum'a town celebrating my mum'a 80th do. It was about my mum's special weekend with her dcs and gcs.

Fil tells dh that mil was crying because we didn't go to see them.

Why would you add pressure to your son like that? We had just seen them, we had literally no time to go to their home plus they've been to stay again a couple of weeks later.

Would I be in the wrong to take them to task on their totally childish and unreasonable behaviour?

What does your dh say?

Sounds like it's about attention to me - so no I wouldn't take them to task. I'd just ignore it. Indifference is actually quite powerful.

Dh used to jump through their hoops as he was terrified of upsetting them.

Now he's not quite as compliant but still hates saying no to them if it's not convenient for us.

They said they were annoyed because every time they asked us for a date to visit we would suggest another one instead. That would be because we already had plans on the weekend they'd suggested. Why would they get annoyed about that?

He's the problem though isn't he? If he stood up to them and didn't have such difficulty saying no, none of it would affect you.

Are they the only people he has trouble being assertive with?