My head feels like a nervous breakdown!

[archieplacid]

Everything is too bright, too noisy, too hard and too much at the moment. I am on anti-d's and mood stabilizers and what have you.
We have moved recently to a foreign country. DD seems to have settled into her new school fairly well. DH's work hours have gone through ceiling and it seems no end to it until well into October.
I feel incredibly resentful towards him. He is by nature a workaholic but this is not what we came here for if you see what I mean. It was supposed to mean an improvement in quality of life, which is has in terms of housing and environment but I feel so adrift and left to get on with ALL the details like insurance and renting and on and on. Right now I am trying to get papers signed and cannot even get him on the phone. I know he will also be late home so everything that I can get done is blocked by his job as it were.
just that really. finding the pressure intolerable but not sure what to do about it if anything. All the usual back ups that help (bit of a sit down, my garden, books) are not working.
Any one able to lend a happy ear is very welcome.

I speak German and now what it is like to be in a foreign country if that helps!

I an about to go home but will be on in about 20 mins

We are in the US, POG but thanks for your hearing me. It just all feels a bit much at the moment.

OK I must have misunderstood. I do have experience of living abroad for 10 years, although as the man. All I can say is that it gets easier. How long have you been there?

2 months now. I have lived in Spain for 3 years about 19 years ago. but, felt more part of things even though I didn't speak the language well at the begining. I feel taken for granted and useless. as though this whole escapade is about him with a few bits left over for me and of that there isn't much.
I read somewhere that lonliness is loving to no avail. this is it right now.

Yes it seems to be the problem is not being away, it is the relationship. Being isolated highlights the problems doesn't it.

I think a lot of us on the Living Overseas board can relate to this feeling of impotence almost, and isolation, and being overwhelmed by all the red tape. Especially the red tape that requires the signature of the person with the work visa. Makes one feel like an invisible secretary.

It is good that your DD has settled into school. That's one thing going well!

Can you set a mental timescale? Say for instance that if it still feels dreadful by Christmas you want to reassess the move? By then you might feel more settled anyway.

Have you found any people who might become friends? Any activities that you can join (gym, sewing, church, running, book group, whatever) to feel more human?

archieplacid Im in the USA,have been for 25 years. where are you? can I help you out? even with info if your too far away for me to be any physical help. I understand and remember the feeling of knowing nothing about how things were done here. Please Pm me if I can help

I'm in the USA too. It is too loud, too big, too much sometimes! I'm around if you need a virtual ear/shoulder :)

I agree with the PP that says this is the relationship at fault and not the location. It doesn't matter where you are, if you feel you are being taken for granted, ignored or exploited, then the balance is completely wrong. If you were sold an idea on a lie and have moved to another country on false pretences, that's insulting and disrespectful. Like throwing the dog the stick but not letting go of the stick.... In your shoes I would be demanding the DH take some time out, give me some attention, some respect, talk seriously about sharing the load and start keeping his promises,.... and not taking 'no' for an answer.

Thank you all for responses. much appreciated.